Happy New year!

Hi All,

Well we've already done our new year, but there is of course the galactic new year today , so we wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

[This version is cool because it translates Scotch- English into English -English😆]

Responses to EU "Liberal"

Hi All,

Given the exchanges between anti democracy "EU Liberal" - the apparent creme de law creme of British studenthood- my partner Sarah and others in a previous thread , here are my responses.

Number one

Mrs Thatcher explains the dangers of socialism and EU Federationism:

Number two

Just for an absolutely cool parody song :

Comments Policy

The comments are not moderated before publication, however we reserve the right to delete posts that fall foul of these general rules :

1. Abuse towards us or another blogger- please advise us in the comments if you think a post should be deleted, if we haven't already
2. Spaming
3. Trolling - i.e. posting to inflame a discussion on a topic
4. Repeated posting on Brexit if that is not the topic of the post , see our separate Brexit discussion page
5. Try to be civil in your replies to each other, even if you disagree
6. Try to think of this as a Shabbat meal discussion. Robust, informative, but done in a spirit to help and not put down people.
7. Anti Semitism is not tolerated here and neither is libel, slander or people being a dick. We have tightened up in this regard and have banned several bloggers we are perfectly free to go to other blogs more to their liking .
8. No questions will be tolerated about crude remarks or questions on  our sex life  and these will be deleted upon posting

Robust debate and discussion is allowed and off topic conversations are permitted to a point, providing they do not conflict with 3 or 4.

Shabbat Shalom!

Hi All,

Last Shabbat for this current year of the secular calender . As usual I wish all of our readers a Shabbat Shalom!

51 shades of snow

Hi All,


Interesting bit of news from America : 51 inches of snow fell on Pennsylvania. It looks beautiful , but imagine trying to get about with all that snow...

Post Corbevite Britain

Hi All,

A look at another alternative reality...

Some people have the temerity to claim that socialism doesn't work. In fact it does. As the example of  Prime Minister "comrade"  Corbevite, the last ruler of a fully operational UK government  illustrates. He and his Labour party had successfully implemented socialism in one country. Now the UK was as rich as Mali, but poorer than Venezuela. This is the success of socialism, not its failure. It makes everyone poor and everyone equally as destitute as everyone else, with even Prince Charles scouring the rubbish bins of the local waste recycling centre. 

Successful socialism is akin to a virus ;  that  leaches on the population by taxation and spending  , until the money runs out. Then some more  cash is printed to keep it all going. Inflation recently fell to 1 trillion percent an hour.  The recently printed 11,000 quadrillion pound note was actually quite good for toilet paper. Certainly you couldn't buy a packet of bog rolls for a 11,000 quadrillion,even if the stores still sold such wicked evil capitalists  luxuries.

It didn't help that Russia occupied Norfolk, Suffolk and Cambridgeshire ,the EU had troops in  London and the home counties , led by commissioner Dame Nicky Cligg and the UN took  the rest of the kingdom as "peace keepers". Plans were already afoot to annex  the newly formed Republica  Scotia (as Scotland was now called)  to Russia and Ulster to the Republic of Ireland. Nobody wanted Wales , but there was talk of Rowan Williams becoming the provisional President of the  Welsh- Cornish people's  democratic   Celtic Republic. England was to be spilt up into various spheres of influence, with Meghan I as Queen. Gibraltar was given to Spain, the Falklands to Argentina . 

Palestinians got Antarctica as Abbas had convinced the UN the seals are really Palestinian and Arab:  the penguin population are ,under international law, colonial occupiers of Antarctica.  A successful outcome for students and extreme left wingers who'd led the boycott of penguins;  they're obvious imperialists by being called emperor penguins you see. Plus penguins are white (and half black) and have privilege. The seals are  grey -brown and are the victim group. Even if they eat penguins.

The British defence forces were utterly incapacitated as a fighting force, not by any foreign powers, but thanks to successive Conservative and Labour governments. In any case what was left of the defence forces were too busy rounding up online social media troublemakers and Brexit supporters. So anyone could take whatever territory they wanted.

Twice upon quite time review

Hi All,

I liked it.

1). No I didn't get that the captain was a forebear of the brigader

2). I thought the person in the castle would be river song

3). Great to see the awesome space lesbian Bill again . She's certainly due a special guest star appearance in the new show

4). Liked the first doctor. Watching some of the black and white episodes and I think he was cool

5). Clara . Uhh still bossy boots. Couldn't the glass people give her a personality upgrade?

6). I've finally warmed to a female Dr who. And now "lot's of planets have a Yorkshire" 😃

7). When does the speculation about Dr 14 start? I will suggest Mark Williams for 14 and Freema Agyeman for 15. And maybe Rachel Wiesz for 16.

8). The glass people were in my view villains. Who gave them permission to in effect steal people's memories and lock those up in a giant computer?

9) Great to see the old TARDIS interior, could they bring that back?

10). TARDIS throws another wobbly after regeneration. Boring

11). Will they do an episode with the Peter Cushing Dr? They could get the bloke from Casualty to do it , like they did with Star Wars?

12) Good send off for Mr Capaldi. Well done team!😆

Jewish and Gay

These exchanges took place on another blog today:

You do know Hannah is an Orthodox Jew?

Yes, but she's said more than that about herself here. I consider that her lifestyle is in contradiction to Orthodox Judaism in the same way that that lifestyle is in contradiction to the gospel, so it would not have surprised me to find inconsistencies in what she was saying. As I'm not a representative of Judaism, however, I wasn't going to tell her what she 'should' do. I'm willing to apologise if you can show me I was discourteous to her.

So  I'm doing this reader's or when I post elsewhere and learn I'm gay get all sorts of ideas, infer things about me that are well off the ball.

1). Orthodox traditional  Judaism and homosexuality 

In short: orthodox Judaism teaches that homosexuality or male same sex attractions are not prohibited. What is prohibited according to the Torah is anal sex between men.

The Torah addresses is certain specific homosexual conduct. The Torah says:

"Ve-et zachar lo tishcav mishkevei isha to'evah hi" (Vayikra 18:22) : "A man shall not lie with another man as he would lie with a woman, it is an abhorrence" (Leviticus 18:22).

"Ve-ish asher yishcav et zachar mishkevei isha to'evah asu shneihem mot yumtu demeihem bam." (Vayikra 20:13): "A man who lies with a man [in the way of] lying with a woman, both of them have done an abhorrent thing and shall die for it." (Leviticus 20:13).

Chazal- the Rabbis and Sages of the Talmud -  understand that here "mishkevei," which is translated as "lie," means anal penetration (Sanhedrin 54). So the Torah, Chazal tell us, says that two men should not have anal sex; it is a to'evah--an "abhorrence" . We learn that to'evah is a contraction for "to'eh atah bah" ("being led astray") (Nedarim 51a). A man may be led astray from his wife and home by having anal intercourse with men (Tosafos on Nedarim 51a).

The translation of "to'evah" is usually "abhorrence" or "abomination." It is used in the Tanach (the Bible) approximately one hundred times in connection with various kinds of conduct such as arrogant behavior, using false scales, and most often worshiping idols (avodah za'ra). To'evah is used in many situations that do not involve issues of sexuality or "morality" and this broader use indicates that the transgression is more in the nature of a "mistake."

2). Orthodox Traditional Judaism and lesbianism 

In short : the written Torah does not specifically prohibit lesbianism : again Judaism teaches any sin to be an act of a sexual nature and not the person , not the orientation. However this prohibition is Rabbinical and not Torah based.

The Torah does not specifically address homosexual conduct between women at all, but rabbinic tradition says that women should avoid it , although some say lesbian women aren't actually having sex anyways when they're having sex (Even HaEzer 20). Sexual activity between two women, though, is not a to'evah and it is not anyone's business to patrol Hannah's Sarah's bedroom .

Interestingly, when we turn to the first source of Jewish teaching, the written  Torah, the Five Books of Moses, we find that the sections which outline prohibited sexual unions (Leviticus 18 and 20) do not include a single word about lesbianism. 

The context of each verse is a lengthy statement detailing prohibited sexual unions; the operating rationale is the separation of Israel from the peoples around them, and their consecration to God. And it is here, right at the beginning of the story of homosexuality and Judaism, that we find a clue to the assumptions underlying Jewish teaching on lesbianism which emerged centuries later: women are included in the texts of Leviticus 18 and 20, of course, but with the exception of the case of bestiality (Lev. 18:23), women are the objects, not the subjects, of the different types of sexual union, and there is no mention at all of women in relation to one another.

The first Rabbinical mention of  sexual contact between women is made by the rabbinic sages in Sifra (Acharei Mot 9:8), a work of halakhic midrash (that is, rabbinic exegesis of legal biblical material) which comments on the book of Leviticus .

 Here, referring to the “laws” of Egypt and Canaan which the Israelites are prohibited from following (Lev. 18:3), the text cites as an example that “a man would marry [nosei] a man, and a woman a woman”—a clear reference not only to same-sex intimate acts, but also to on‑going relationships between same‑sex partners.

The next brief comments are found in the Babylonian Talmud, tractates Shabbat and Yevamot. Shabbat 65a/b refers to the father of Samuel (Samuel being the pre‑eminent authority among Babylonian Jewry in the middle of the third century) not permitting his daughters “to sleep together”. The text offers two explanations for his position: one view links it to a teaching of Rav Huna (a disciple of Samuel’s principal colleague and sparring partner ): “For R. Huna said: ‘Women that play around [hamesolelot] with one another are unfit [pesulot] for the priesthood [i.e. to marry a High Priest].’” The majority of the sages, however, reached a different conclusion: “No: it was in order that they should not become accustomed to an alien body [gufa nuchra’ah].”

Yevamot 76a makes it clear why the law does not follow Rav Huna.  Rav Huna’s teaching is rejected because, unlike heterosexual cohabitation, sexual intimacy between women does not render the individual women concerned “unfit”; it is peritzuta, “obscenity”, not zenut, “unchastity” or “harlotry”. And if the women’s behavior does not render them “unfit”, they are not thereby debarred from marrying a High Priest (who must only marry a virgin—that is, a woman who is “fit”). 

The expression “play[ing] around”, hamesolelot, is a rabbinic euphemism for sexual behavior (sometimes translated as “making sport” or “committing lewdness”) and is only used of women who engage in intimate acts with each other .

After the  Babylonian Talmud , there were no further textual references to lesbian behavior until  Maimonides (or Rambam) clarified the halakhic position in his code, the Mishneh Torah (Hilchot Issurei Bi’ah 21:8). He wrote:

“For women to play around with one another is forbidden and belongs to ‘the practices of the Egyptians’ concerning which we have been warned, ‘You shall not copy the practices of the land of Egypt’…But though such conduct is forbidden, it is not punishable by lashing since there is no specific prohibition against it and in any case no sexual intercourse takes place at all."

Incidentally Rambam continues:

"Consequently, such women are not forbidden to the priesthood on account of unchastity, nor is a woman prohibited to her husband because of it, since this does not constitute unchastity. But it is appropriate to flog such women since they have done a forbidden thing. A man should be particularly strict with his wife in this matter, and should prevent women known to indulge in such practices from visiting her, and her from going to visit them.”

Maimonides’ formulation of the halakha was upheld by Jacob ben Asher (1270‑1340) in his Arba’ah Turim a century later (Even haEzer 24), and by Joseph Caro (1488‑1575), whose Shulchan Arukh (Even ha‑Ezer 24), published in 1563, became the authoritative guide to halakha throughout the Sephardic  Jewish world—a status it still occupies within Orthodox Jewry today. The Shulchan Arukh was the “final word” on the subject for 400 years.

3). Orthodox Judaism and Gay marriage

In short : Orthodox Judaism celebrates marriage big time. In the Sephardi world we celebrate marriage before, during and after (for 12 nights , rather than a honeymoon) . There's a huge amount of custom there and it is a familiar as well as community celebration.

Judaism defines marriage as between a man and a woman. Although this is relatively new, because it was not until the 11th century that Ashkenazi Jewry decided to abolish polygamous marriages : us Sephardic Jews never did, but that practice just died out, maybe with the exception of Sephardim and Yibbum (Leverite marriage).

Orthodox Judaism is of the strong view that marriage provides spiritual fulfilment, support, companionship, and yes physical fulfilment & pleasure in sexual intercourse. The Torah says 'man should not be alone' (Genesis 2,18) and that he should cherish a woman in an intimate way (Genesis 2,24) , if we read The Talmud, the Rabbis make strong statements about marriage and in typical polemical style to emphasise the point say ‘a man who has no wife is doomed to an existence without joy, without blessing, without experiencing life’s true goodness, without Torah, without protection, without peace’[. Yevamot 62b] and again elsewhere ‘Be careful about the honour of your wife, for blessings only come to your house because of your wife’ [Bava Metzia 59 a] .

It should be noted that Judaism also says that a Jew may only marry another Jew and that even within the context of male - female marriages there are specific prohibitions on various forms of incest , although uncle - niece marriage is not forbidden by Jewish law and neither is first cousin marriage  (incidentally where the civil law prohibits those types of marriage , Judaism respects the civil law).

4).Secular civil marriage and civil partnerships 

In short :

However what we are discussing here is Judaic marriage and there is also (alongside other religions version of marriage) ,  civil or secular state marriage (in the UK there is also civil partnerships). The government have gone out of their way to protect the established church of England (by banning gay marriages in their churches) and allowing religions to choose whether or not they wish to marry gay people

Furthermore mine is a religion which doesn't seek to graft its own ideals into the culture of the communities we live in, but we are called to be good citizens and obey the law. I can therefore fully support state gay marriages and civil partnerships, whilst also understanding that my religion does not agree with the concept (or at least very few Orthodox Rabbis have been able to Paskin and also provide a concrete halanic case for Jewish gay marriages that's accepted by the wider community).

5). Me , Sarah and other Gay and Lesbian Jews.

In Short : gay and lesbians should be part of the Jewish community and do as many Mitzvah as possible, such as observing Shabbat.

As frum Jews, we strive to observe as many mitzvos as possible. Some decide not to act on their sexual feelings and choose to be celibate. Others feel that they need intimate sexual contact with another person; so they kiss, hug, and caress, may touch in ways that lead to orgasm (such as mutual masturbation), and may also have oral sex.

Some men, though, decide not to have anal sex based on the psukim in Vayikra (verses in Leviticus), and understand this to be a limit that G-d put on what two men can do (other limits, for example, are placed on what we eat (kashrus, the Jewish dietary laws) and when straight couples can have sex (niddah, the marital purity laws)). The important thing to remember is that whatever you decide, you are always a Jew and you can also be frum i.e. orthodox.

Every Jew is rewarded for each mitzvah he does and is responsible for each averah (transgression) he commits. Just because a Jew cannot observe every mitzvah does not mean he should not do any and does not mean that he cannot live within a framework of traditional Judaism. All Jews have shortcomings: "for there is no person so wholly righteous on earth that he [always] does good and never sins" (Ecclesiastes 7:20). We can observe Shabbat and yomim tovim (the Sabbath and holidays), keep kashrus, daven (pray), learn Torah, visit the sick, give charity--in short we can do as many mitzvos as possible

"Be-kol drachechah da'eihu"("In all your ways know God," Proverbs 3:6), even when doing an averah (transgression) (Brachos 63a). If one does an averah, instead of breaking away from God, one can come closer to G-d by doing other mitzvos. God is always with us. When a person falls, he falls into the lap of God.

"Va-yar Elokim et kol asher asah v-hinei tov meod" ("And God saw all that He had made, and found it very good." Genesis 1:31). Every person is created in the image of God (be-tzelem Elokim, Bereshis 1:27 and 9:6). We do not understand why God has created us this way (whether it is genetic or acquired, the Torah does not express any view) and why God created others with different characteristics. My sister in law is disabled, but still loved by God. I am homosexual. I am love by God.

We are as beloved in the eyes of God as any other Jew and we are as responsible as any other Jew in observing the mitzvos. We will merit the same share in the world to come as all other Jews, as it is written "Kol Yisrael yesh la-hem chelek l'olam ha-bah" ("All Israel has a share in the world to come" Mishnah Sanhedrin 10:1).

What about the mitzvah of pru urvu (procreation)? Now the great Tanna (Sage) Shimon Ben Azzai, who never married or had children, said "the world can be perpetuated by others." (Yevamos 63b). As it says in Isaiah 56:3: "And let not the saris [the male who cannot have children] say, "I am a withered tree." For thus said the L-rd: "As regards the sarisim who keep My sabbaths, who have chosen what I desire, and hold fast to My covenant -- I will give them, in My House and within My walls, a monument and a name better than sons or daughters. I will give them an everlasting name which shall not perish."

6). Conclusion 

So where does this leave me. I'm gay- as you all know- 

And as I've said before my sexual activity is no one's business but mine, because I have lots to say on the whole world, not just my orientation, I rarely discuss there issues.

The thing is, I am a lesbian. When people make outrageous public statements about my sexuality it really hurts, even when they say why are you taking this personally? What if I said it was evil for a straight man to fancy a woman? What if I said to straight men, you can only marry other men?They should try to understand that people are not clones, but made in the image of God, just like all of humanity. Indeed our rabbis and sages said that you cannot judge a fellow unless you stand in their shoes.

I don't know why, but I have always been attracted to other women. I have never been attracted to men. I don't hate men and I have many male friends, very close male friends, but I cannot have sex or love with them in that way and I'm deeply in love with one woman, who's my soul mate.I didn't choose this, but I am still human. I work, pay 

my taxes and do all the things that other people do. I don't think that I should be thought of as something less than a decent human being.

I love God and our Torah, my Jewish people and gentiles & worship him , whilst observing the mitzvot as best I can. I struggle, I love, I follow. Hashem is my God, Mitzvot my goal

Prologue

Asteroid 1344/HJU : The gitmo, gulag and area 51 of the 22nd century. Despite its outward appearance as an inter stellar galactic paradise , even the do- gooders of the United Confederation of Systems had , when necessary got its hand dirty. More often than not hands washed in blood , rather than dirt. 

In ten seconds it was going to self destruction,  but before that a secure  message was sent directly to the Director of the External Security Agency of the Confederation. 

6, 5, 4, 3 , 2, 1. 

The Asteroid exploded in a brief, but brilliant flash,  reduced to tiny pebbles that one might find on a beach.

Return of the Onconvar

Hi All,


A few musings on a symbiotic species

Prologue
Chapter 1 : Olympus Mons
Chapter 2 : It's all Greek
Interlude

Happy Christmas

Hi All,

I suppose it would be churlish of me not to wish non Jewish readers a happy Christmas .  So enjoy the festivities, food and pressies.

Me and Sarah will take our labs for a walk in the morning as usual, then afternoon and in the evening. But we will be having a quiet day in.

But enjoy for those who do.

By the rivers of Babylon

Hi all,

Cool song , pertinent to me as a descendant of Iraqi (Mesopotamian/ Babylonian Jewry) :

Yet we now have our own state,  in our own land, the land of Zion and  Jerusalem .

Just one final thing for the peace of the world :

אני מאמין באמונה שלמה בביאת המשיח, ואף על פי שיתמהמה עם כל זה אחכה לו בכל יום שיבוא‬

Ani Maamin B'emunah Sh'leimah B'viyat Hamashiach. V'af al pi sheyitmahmehah im kol zeh achake lo b'chol yom sheyavo.

I believe with full faith in the coming of the Messiah. And even though he tarries, with all that, I await his arrival with every day.

Alien updates

Hi All,

No knighthood for Nigel Farrage , so the telegraph says-  which is rather sad , although I think he'd be better off in the house of lords , earl Farrage of Barrage? 

Even more intriguing is the following article :

Existence of UFOs 'proved beyond reasonable doubt', says former Pentagon X-Files chief 

Well this isn't surprising as Junckner revealed the EU has contact with Extra Terrestrials. And as we all know the first contact with ETs was in Birmingham and therefore the first impression of human civilisations to interstellar travellers are the chummy brummies, hence aliens when speaking English , have a slight Birmingham / west Midlands drawl.

After all wasn't Shakespeare from the west Midlands ?😉

Passports

..."Are  going to be blue, but EU we still don't love you "

As if we don't need any more confirmation as to how hysterical the Brexit reporting has become we now have the synthetic fuss over the colour of the post EU passport.

Besides which it doesn't have to be blue?

Why not a rainbow coloured passport to signify our LGTQWERTY credentials, multicultural society and diversity  (or is it a sign of God's covenant never to flood the earth again?). Or maybe a union Jack coloured passport?  Or a crescent moon, with a cross and star of David one, to show our tolerance and integration? Or why not one which is half blue and half mavure to signify a nation in transition , thus helping the transgender community?

What suggestions do readers have ?

The usual

The usual Shabbat thread .

Shabbat Shalom! Gut Shabbos!

Office Party

Today is the family office party, starting at 2.30pm

Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas ,

DESPITE BREXIT!

Appleton Aston

Hi All,

This is a  narrative scene setting  background introduction to a series of anthologies :

Somewhere in the interstellar medium between the milky way and the Canis Major Galaxies lies  Aqua Spirituum. This Martian owned colony consists of a ethanol (alcohol)  giant, five times the  diameter of Earth and numerous moons, orbital facilities, stations and trailers.  

The planet, moons and even the star had been moved there fifty years before.  The star from Canis Major, the planet being a former rogue (a planet which drifts around space without orbiting a star) and the moons from all over the place. The other stuff had been built from these resources.

The economy of these settlements was diverse, but the chemical industry played a crucial  part . The ethanol giant was mined and then refined for various uses: fuels, disinfectant, antiseptic, fertilisers, industrial chemical solvents, antifreeze ,plastics  , healthcare products and of course alcoholic beverages.

The rolling hills, valleys  and land of one such moon, Appleton Aston,  are superficially similar to Britain, except there were long cold winters and very hot short summers, followed by an equally short rainy season. Appleton is used  by British government  dimension 8732, primary as a dumping ground for single mothers,  those on welfare benefits, "low risk" prisoners, the physically ill, the  mentally ill , homeless , bankrupts , the destitute and starving,  refugees and illegal immigrants .

What the media would say

Hi all

If Martians landed tomorrow

Remain papers 

Martians arrive , despite Brexit

Leave papers

Martians are our friends  but the EU is not!

Lutonianity

Hi All,

What is Lutonianity?

Religion :Lutonianism

Key figure : The Prophet (peace be upon him) Derek of Luton

Holy book: the revelation  of The Prophet Derek , divided into the 

1)Old Revelation, consisting of the Jewish and Christian Catholic scriptures, the Qur'an and the 15 books of the burning horseradish religion  ,included to prove all these religions had been fulfilled via specific quotes from those books and therefore replaced by Lutonianity.  

2) New Revelation of  six gospels and 234 letters , furnished with traditional oral teachings , centres around a religious prophet called Derek of Luton and his life,  miracles ,theology and philosophy , politics and brexit,  his law for society and historical  conquests which  is mostly set in England,  his hometown of Luton and rural Bedfordshire , although he does visit York, Canterbury , London and apparently ascended into heaven on a winged Dragon on the temple mount in Jerusalem , the second holiest site for Lutonianism.

Holy places: Luton, Jerusalem, Canterbury

Numbers : 1,110,000 quadrillion adherents (99.9% aliens)

This religion was formed some 250 years ago , by a shadowy figure called "Derek of Luton" , who is to believers the final prophet of God to all the universe, which had to be converted , "first  unto the humans , then the aliens". 

The narrative , contained in the six gospels and 234 letters of the New Lutonian Testament , furnished with traditional oral teachings , centres around a religious prophet called Derek of Luton and his life,  miracles ,theology and philosophy , politics and brexit,  his law for society and historical  conquests which  is mostly set in England,  his hometown of Luton and rural Bedfordshire , although he does visit York, Canterbury , London and apparently ascended into heaven on a winged Dragon on the temple mount in Jerusalem , the second holiest site for Lutonianism.

Unfortunately Martians were around when all this supposedly happened and they have no record of it  ever happening.  They did have an historical record of later conquests by the religion ,  such as the  conquests of Israel, the siege of Mecca, the fall of the Vatican and the conversion of Canterbury cathedral into a Lutonian shrine, but not about the man or his followers. 

A even bigger unfortunately is that most humans (bar a few trillion) aren't a part of this religion, it having been adopted by many quadrillion alien populations, but not one Martian , via vigorous proselytizing and in days gone by military crusades. Thus any attack on this religion based on strength, rather than truth,  generates an awful lot of interstellar controversy and rioting. Although it did help English to become a universally known  language, as the holy text was written in varying degrees of fluent  English.

The final unfortunate was that Mars refused to let Lutonians settle in the Empire's borders  - Thus bring accused of being Lutonianphoic-  but even worse was a strategic ally and supporter of the New State of Israel. To Lutonians and the "Lutonian street" , the "Zionist entity"  occupied Jerusalem from the indigenous Lutonian English -Arabs and their Holy Sites ,  but even worse prevented the Jews from converting in Israel or within the Martian Empire . 

You see Derek of Luton is supposed to return , via Luton, then to Jerusalem  and rule the universe from there, along with Moses, Jesus,Mohammed and the burning horseradish, but only when all "ye the children of Abraham, but are thout but  now blinded by Satan and his Satanist rabbinical synagogue,  are redeemed unto God within the grafted spiritual vineyard of the one true faith and his Lord", which given as Derek was speaking to Sephardic Jews, implies that the existence of the Martian Empire and Israel  is a spiritual stumbling bloc to a galactic universal, but  heavenly, utopia.

History in brief

Hi All,

A  light hearted video explaining Jews and the land of Israel:

Wir sind die Borg!

Hi All,

Is the EU  a Borg front?

In English:

We are the EU, we will add your national and cultural distinctiveness to our own.  Your economy will adapt to service us. Brexit is futile...

Aliens and Birmingham

Hi All,

It was a coup British style. No one was hurt and there were no tanks in the street. But the Prime Minister had been deposed nonetheless, with the full support of the establishment ,  toppled by  remain rebels in her own party due to the breakdown of  brexit negotiations. The government and conservative party was in chaos and it looked like the Labour party , led by a 93 year old revolutionary Marxist would win the next general election.

Until then another establishment favourite had been parachuted into Downing Street , even though Helen Berkshire , a forty year old attractive brunette from the home counties,  only ever been a backbench MP and only for 7 years .

The first official briefing  a British Prime Minister has to go through after being appointed by the Monarch , is to formally take control of the nuclear weapons codes &  write four identical hand written letters , instructions to the Captains of the four Trident armed  "bomber" submarines , as to what to do if Britain was destroyed in a first strike nuclear attack. The second is even more secretive.

"No Prime Minister this is not a joke"  said  Gordon Obadiah David , the Cabinet Secretary and therefore the head of the civil service, whose initials rather summed up his power among the officialdom of British society. Although  in left wing circles he was known as the " Zionist".  David's grandparents were Jewish refugees  from Mesopotamia, Persia& India, having made a home in Manchester. David decided not to go into  the family businesses, but had gained a first from Edinburgh and a PhD from Imperial College London, coming top of the class for his year in  the civil service exams .

"But an alien zigguart , hidden underneath Birmingham - of all places (like most of the metropolitan southerners & London-based people she was utterly ignorant of life in or the struggles of ' the provinces' )  - that leads to another galaxy and universe- it's preposterous!" ( because it should naturally be in London the centre of the universe).

"Nevertheless it is true" came the distinctive Irish Ulster  brouge of  the other person in the room ,  General and Royal Marine  James "Jimmy" Kumar , the chief of defence staff & war veteran of Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran and North Korea.

"So tell me why would the little grey ET base themselves underneath Snow Hill station in Birmingham? " she scoffed , convinced that somehow this was a giant April fools joke, even though it was December.

"Well you could go there and see for yourself " suggested David.

"Go to Birmingham?"  There was a shudder. " how would I understand them?"

"Do not worry Prime Minister, our alien friends have translation devices. There's some of them who have mastered English without a translator" David replied.

" I was referring to the Brumnies"

"Well there's even a few aliens  who speak Brummie" said David with a grin. "As they like curries, in fact it could be  a major export opportunity for us post Brexit,  plus a few of their art dealers are prepared to buy the entirety of the Birmingham and museum and art gallery in exchange for gold and technology".

"I don't believe it"

"It's true, the Gorf - look like humanoid frogs in powdered wigs , breaches and silk stockings- want to buy "Dominicans in feathers"  by Henry Marks to- as they say - 'piss the Svinge off-'  the Svinge look like the subject matter of the painting you see'.

'This is a giant practical joke guys?'

'Prime Minister,   the Gorf  offered 234,000 tons of 24 carat gold- about 8 trillion pounds  and organic liver transplant technology for that painting alone. Think of the NHS. Plus they like our beers. It's like drinking water to them'. Even better the Svinge might make a counter offer , but they're into Harry Potter' said a deadpan David.

"You're both serious?" Asked Berkshire

"Perfectly"  they said in unison.

"Okay . Then off to Birmingham we will go- just make sure these translators work".  After a pause. "So I can understand the Brummies".

United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland

Hi all,

The way out of a "hard border"  between Britain and the EU is of course for the republic of Ireland to reunite with the rest of the British isles.  While this would be unthinkable many years ago , because of sectarian divisions ( forgetting that Guinness , a massive Irish brand , was founded by protestants) , today Britain is different and certainly not prejudice on sectarian grounds.

 Plus most of Ireland's exports go to the UK.  We could change things and adopt a federal Britain so as to allay the fears that this would be an English dominated union. Plus we wouldn't do to Ireland what the EU did to her- i.e. bail out bankrupt banks in return for austerity and rape Ireland till the cupboards were empty -  at the behest of Germany and the socialist  imperialist EU Commissars . 

Let's end this nonsense and come back together .... come in the waters lovely. You know it makes sense.... the English love the Scottish , Welsh and Irish. It's the horrid nationalists who want to divide us all and make us into imperial provinces of a German - French dominated European socialist super state...

Remember, the Irish are well cool:

Colonel Sir Henry Simmerson: What's it to you priest? You hate the British!

Father Curtis: I'm Irish. John Bull's a bad   now a good neighbour, but Bonaparte's  the EU's a bully, and so are you!

On the latest parliamentary vote

Hi all,

My gut reaction to the latest subversion of democracy  by remoaners in parliament and the de facto  treacherous go to the liberal leftists , appeasing,   Europe before Britain   guardian luvvie  traitorous should be deselected, they ran on a ticket to leave the EU, at least the liberal democrats and Labour remainers were honest about their views    so called "rebels " who are in  the conservative parliamentary party:

At  this rate we will have a Corbyn government -a disaster for our beloved country- with Venezuelan and Zimbabwe type socialism run mad. I hope the Tory rebels are proud of their disloyalty.

P.S. I feel like this Irish parliamentarian (must be my Irish side coming out! 🔯😉🍀 )

Civis Martis

Hi All,

Martians. Also called Bahar.  The oldest and most mightiest of civilisations, some thirty billion years of space travel.  They can  go across the  mulituniverse unharmed, protected only in the main with the following words 'civis Martis'- I am a Martian citizen- so great is the terrible retribution of the vast Empire of Mars,  the Empire upon which the galaxies never set; universally understood as certain by great and lesser powers,  even terrorist  and revolutionary organisations,  should any harm befall even one of her people ... unfortunately some are just so mad, bad, brave or foolish they don't heed the warning:  don't tread on the Martians...

Happy Hanukkah!!!

Hi All, 

Happy Hanukkah!!!

"We light these lights for the miracles and the wonders, for the redemption and the battles that you made for our forefathers, in those days at this season, through your holy priests. During all eight days of Hanukkah these lights are sacred, and we are not permitted to make ordinary use of them except for to look at them in order to express thanks and praise to Your great Name for Your miracles, Your wonders and Your salvations."

Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, who has sanctified us with Your commandments, and has commanded us to kindle the lights of Hanukkah.

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech Ha-Olam, asher kiddeshanu b’mitzvotav, vitzivanu, lehadlik ner shel Hanukkah.

Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, who wrought miracles for our fathers in days of old, at this season.

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech Ha-Olam, she-asah nissim la-avotaynu bayamim ha-hem bazman hazeh.

Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, who has kept us alive, and has preserved us, and enabled us to reach this time.

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech Ha-Olam, she-hekheyanu v-kiyamanu v-higgianu lazman hazeh.

So it's almost Hanukkah, which starts this evening. For those of you who don't really know much about this festival it is an eight day holiday which commemorates the rededicated of The Temple in Jerusalem after the Maccabean revolt. This occurred during the 2nd Century BC in the western calender,caused by the religious intolerance of the Greek rulers of the time - following the carve up of Alexander the Great's Macedonian Empire - e.g. sacrificing pigs on the Holy Altar, banning circumcision and other outrages . 

The main thing that we do,aside from the tradition of family gatherings , presents, games and special Hanukkah food(1), is to light candles in a 9 branch Menorah, called a "hanukkiyah":one is lit for each day of the festival and the ninth is for the use of light itself(2) The reason for having 8 days and 8 lights is because the original Menorah in the Temple was supposed to burn throughout the night all of the time, using olive oil. There was only enough oil to burn for one day, but through a miracle of God , the Menorah burned for 8 days, the time it would take to prepared fresh supplies**.Hence it is a time to remember G-d's faithfulness to us during a difficult and challenging time. 

Here's a clip on how to light the Hanukkah Menorah:

For those who are interested ,  there is a difference in ruling between Sepharadi and Ashkenazi tradition. In Sephardi tradition:

1). We only light one Hanukkah Menorah , which is lit by the head of the household with everyone else in the family present and undertaking the prayers , whereas Askenazi often have multiple Menorah's , often with children lighting their own or lighting the main household one.

2). The shammash ( that'd be the light used to light the other lights! ) is lit either last or together with the other Hanukkah lights, instead of being used to light them .

3). This is because traditionally Sephardi use Menorah that use oil (preferably olive oil) as the material to produce the light and burn (i.e in effect oil lamps rather than candle holders. Incidentally by tradition we use oil for burning with Shabbat lighting too ). The reasons for this are traditional custom , the Mesorah (the transmission of Torah, tradition, custom from one generation to the next) , the original miracle didn't use candles ,it is in part practical , the other reason is Sephardi mystical interpretations of the ritual .

We will of course be observing both traditions as we're a Sephardi and Ashkenazi couple.

But anyways ,back to the story.  The events themselves are described in the Talmud as well as in two books called 1 Maccabees and 2 Maccabees, originally written in Hebrew, but surviving manuscripts are written in Greek only and further attested to by the historian Joesphus.

The books of Maccabees are not part of the Jewish Bible, but it is part of the Christian (non Protestant) one. Also for Christian readers of my blog, there is more biblical evidence for you to celebrate Hanukkah than Christmas (which, as a festival,isn't mentioned in the new testament)because you might like to know that Jesus, according to Christian scriptures, also celebrated Hanukkah (John Chapter 10 vs 22-23). 

Anyways ,an early Chag Urim Sameach! and Happy Hanukkah everyone!

Notes:

1) For food : Doughnut / sufganiyo are Ashkenazi and Sephardi have keftes, Bimuelos/Zengoula , Sfenj, Cassola, Kuku Sabzi, Sambusak , Koobe and Svinge!

2) See my paragraph about candles and oil burning Menorah and Ashkenazi / Sephardic customs. In addition exchanging presents isn't a Sephardi tradition, but hey it's a new one. 

3) Incidentally no one quite knows what happened to that original Menorah, following the destruction of the Temple by the Romans. It was clearly taken back to Rome, where it was put in one of their own temples, until the barbarians were at the gate centuries later. After that it has become the subject of legend, myth, conspiracy theories, worthy enough for an Indiana Jones film.

Friday Friday

Hi All,


As it is Friday, I wish you all a Shabbat Shalom!

Worldwide outrage as Vatican recognised as Catholic...

Hi All,

Reports are coming in that Donald Trump will do the unthinkable and move the Vatican embassy from Rome to the Vatican itself, thus recognising the Vatican as being  Catholic as the pope. 

Unfortunately the Vatican is also claimed by the religion of peace  , ever since it was conquered by force by that same religion ,  some 500 years ago. St Peters was turned into a mosque - it is along with what was st Paul's in London,  shown as an example of Arab architectural beauty, by Arabs such as Mohammedlangelo and Sir Mohammed Wrenstan-  and Catholics have been excluding from praying there ever since. 

Although some 50 years ago Catholics had  the absolute temerity to retake the Vatican for mother church.  They've been attacked for this ever since. Today's announcement has been denounced by anyone sensibly liberal and all Muslims  as " reaping and bringing chaos and war to Southern Europe:  of course the Vatican has never been and never will be Catholic or Christian, whatever the Papists say. I'm not anti Catholic, just anti Papist". Arab Romans , the indigenous natives of Italy from Arabia are  called Romanistans,  claim the Vatican as the capital  of a future Italian Arab state ,Romanistan.

The port is with you my Lord

Hi all,

A clip from one of my favourite films, "kind hearts and coronets":

ANTNAZ

Hi all,

ANTNAZ is short for "anti Nazi".  A self righteous and self proclaimed interstellar  left wing activist group, dedicated to stopping racism and bigotry across the universe, by direct action, causing a fuss and rioting wherever possible.

Here is one of their posters :

SMASH THE BRITISH AND MARTIAN EMPIRES!

SOCIALIST LIBERTY FOR BRITAIN!
KEEP US IN THE Earth Union!

Will you stand by while the Private Equity vultures and City Banker jackels & Hedge Fund hyenas gnaw on the seat of power and turn Britain into a wealthy tax haven and independent state , reliant on the Martian Empire for free trade? Will you let the Tory Capitalist running lapdogs gooble  your human rights with Henry VIII powers ?  Will you stop the racism of not allowing poor refugees or open borders into our country?

Fear NOT! 

And rejoice Britain, for that capitalist imperialist  Tory party octopus has sounded its swan song! The day of revolution is here and upon us!  Cast off the fascist jackboots of the oppressor and wear some hippie Jesus   or Prophet Mohammed  (peace be upon him) sandals instead !  

Beat the Yoke of  Tyranny into scrambled Tory eggs  ! For from the  melting pot of  London, Islington comes freedom and the simmering wrath of the people which shalltop over from simmer to boil and onto the streets !

• Yes to the EU! Reverse Brexit!
•  No to the Brexiter Racism and Martian Empire!
• DOWN WITH ZIONIST INFLUENCES!
• FREE daily copies of the International Antnaz paper to everyone!
• Become like the socialist paradise of Venezuela!

For change  ANTNAZ says  support us on our OCCUPY the CAPITALIST running dog centres of power across the solar system  as the day of REVOLUTION draws near!

ANTNAZ IS THE POPULAR MOMENT OF THE PEOPLE!  
UP THE REVOLUTION! On Tuesday!
ALL WELCOME, including Robots and LGBTQWERTY

[Except  Islamophobes, racists, sexists, transphobes, homophobes , robot phobes,  police, capitalists, underwriters and bankers. Also no Zionists . Not antisemitism just a healthy self righteous hatred of the Jewish state and its colonial settler people, disguised as left-wing bigoted claptrap i.e.  the Zionist scum.  Also no Martians either.  Not racist. Leftists can't be racist by definition.. this is merely indicative of our hate for  the Imperialist neocon system! So what if they gave humanity a cure for cancer, better transplants , saved the environment with clean cheap energy and the ability to space travel].

Star wars accents : a discussion

Hi All,

One of our regulars has brought to my attention interesting features on star wars and accents :

"Or which interesting matters brings one to a science fiction matter of star wars and accents & languages . Naturally us French get the sexy one. Ireland and Scotland get mentions as well as of course do the British aka the empire.

Here is an analysis

.

Also here is part too on [alleged and apparent]  racist star wars accents , includingJewish and Japanese"

Discuss!!