Aliens and Birmingham

Hi All,

It was a coup British style. No one was hurt and there were no tanks in the street. But the Prime Minister had been deposed nonetheless, with the full support of the establishment ,  toppled by  remain rebels in her own party due to the breakdown of  brexit negotiations. The government and conservative party was in chaos and it looked like the Labour party , led by a 93 year old revolutionary Marxist would win the next general election.

Until then another establishment favourite had been parachuted into Downing Street , even though Helen Berkshire , a forty year old attractive brunette from the home counties,  only ever been a backbench MP and only for 7 years .

The first official briefing  a British Prime Minister has to go through after being appointed by the Monarch , is to formally take control of the nuclear weapons codes &  write four identical hand written letters , instructions to the Captains of the four Trident armed  "bomber" submarines , as to what to do if Britain was destroyed in a first strike nuclear attack. The second is even more secretive.

"No Prime Minister this is not a joke"  said  Gordon Obadiah David , the Cabinet Secretary and therefore the head of the civil service, whose initials rather summed up his power among the officialdom of British society. Although  in left wing circles he was known as the " Zionist".  David's grandparents were Jewish refugees  from Mesopotamia, Persia& India, having made a home in Manchester. David decided not to go into  the family businesses, but had gained a first from Edinburgh and a PhD from Imperial College London, coming top of the class for his year in  the civil service exams .

"But an alien zigguart , hidden underneath Birmingham - of all places (like most of the metropolitan southerners & London-based people she was utterly ignorant of life in or the struggles of ' the provinces' )  - that leads to another galaxy and universe- it's preposterous!" ( because it should naturally be in London the centre of the universe).

"Nevertheless it is true" came the distinctive Irish Ulster  brouge of  the other person in the room ,  General and Royal Marine  James "Jimmy" Kumar , the chief of defence staff & war veteran of Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran and North Korea.

"So tell me why would the little grey ET base themselves underneath Snow Hill station in Birmingham? " she scoffed , convinced that somehow this was a giant April fools joke, even though it was December.

"Well you could go there and see for yourself " suggested David.

"Go to Birmingham?"  There was a shudder. " how would I understand them?"

"Do not worry Prime Minister, our alien friends have translation devices. There's some of them who have mastered English without a translator" David replied.

" I was referring to the Brumnies"

"Well there's even a few aliens  who speak Brummie" said David with a grin. "As they like curries, in fact it could be  a major export opportunity for us post Brexit,  plus a few of their art dealers are prepared to buy the entirety of the Birmingham and museum and art gallery in exchange for gold and technology".

"I don't believe it"

"It's true, the Gorf - look like humanoid frogs in powdered wigs , breaches and silk stockings- want to buy "Dominicans in feathers"  by Henry Marks to- as they say - 'piss the Svinge off-'  the Svinge look like the subject matter of the painting you see'.

'This is a giant practical joke guys?'

'Prime Minister,   the Gorf  offered 234,000 tons of 24 carat gold- about 8 trillion pounds  and organic liver transplant technology for that painting alone. Think of the NHS. Plus they like our beers. It's like drinking water to them'. Even better the Svinge might make a counter offer , but they're into Harry Potter' said a deadpan David.

"You're both serious?" Asked Berkshire

"Perfectly"  they said in unison.

"Okay . Then off to Birmingham we will go- just make sure these translators work".  After a pause. "So I can understand the Brummies".