Johnny Hicks

Hi All,

The Martians  or Bahar have an Empire of  25 billion galaxies, a quarter of the known universe, but also have tremendous informal influences on the rest. Not only that they also controlled transcendental, different time , varied  dimensional space bridges to a further 1.6 million other universes.  They rule an Empire "upon which the  universe never sets"  a vast hyper power  without equal. 

Thankfully Martians are generally genial , small c conservative, risk adverse , folksy, deeply religious  and  have an ordered  society ,but also in full contraction to this - they are also urbane , risk takers,   with a flair , arts , poetry and  a cultural passion akin to France , Greece, Israel  and other Mediterranean basin countries.  They liked to say "well no-one died from a contradiction" when asked about this seemingly split personality cultural  clash. 

At present the universe , despite 'minor'  skirmishes and local wars is at peace ,with the more established areas, the great and minor regional powers,  becoming in effect one giant earthly middle class .  That left the third "universe" areas and  the places of Hobbsonian horror where life is nasty , brutish and short;plus  the" newly industrially progressing"  areas, such as Earth, the People's Republic of Chard and their  many billions of colonies ( most of which Martians helped to fund) where the culture wars take place.  Then there are the other dimensional realms which are beyond even third universe standards, but not quite Hobbsonian but practically 'barbaric' by interstellar standards.  It was these areas which taxed policymakers the most.

Universe 121608 is  of particular concern. Here humans - well actually Americans- have discovered the space bridge and explored a bit. Martians and other aliens have been revealed to the general population. It is in their time frame 2021.  

The most powerful country is the USA, followed by the Federated European, African & pan Islamic states. Donald Trump in this alternative reality is just like our world counterpart. But in this other reality he is considered by pundits to be  a relatively moderate to liberal left wing  GOP President , but he  has recently lost re-election to Johnny R Hick of 'bama,  a nationalist of the" American Dream First Party " by 1  electoral vote . He won, however , only 0.6 %  of the popular vote - there were 229 candidates on the ballot - and won only 1 House seat, with 1 Senate seat ,  a gentleman from Mississippi  who was an antebellum southern democrat ,  first elected in 1854. 

This insurgent party advocated  the usages of nuclear weapons against terrorists, even in Europe,  reducing federal  taxes to zero,  but at the same time  massive increases  spending on the military and infrastructure. 13,000%  tariffs on foreign imports , a border wall with Canada and Mexico which would be as high as the stratosphere  , to "keep the  Canuks and Latinos out" . Plus expulsion of "illegals" ,   Jews,  African-Americans , Latinos and most importantly  Canadians. Then  repeal of welfare checks, Medicare, Medicaid, Obama care and other "leftist bullshit"; war with anyone who "goes against American values. 

 Culturally they'd be abolition of gay marriages, and other "abominations",  expulsions of any American who isn't a white fundamentalist Catholic or Protestant   bible belvin' Christian , plus a  law to automatically allow  extras terrestrial governments or peoples to be sued for alleged historic " kidnapping " and "probing". Finally they'd be a  "new deal"  of "America first and foremost"  , especially toward the  " trade manipulative"  , "touch of the tar brush"  Martians, who "should be nuked" if they didn't "improve" on the free trade ,military and diplomatic treaty called " the trans dimensional partnership",  the Martians  were after all ruled by a mere woman-  "a total slip of a girl who'd quickly be ma  bitch"- who would  clearly be overwhelmed by Johnny Hicks and his superior business acumen. One thing Hick did was to keep his base whipped up by his use of  intergalactic Twitter, in which he constantly abused and said God knows what toward many other heads of state, including the Martian Queen- Emperor. That he has 46  million followers and she has 1 novemquadragintillion followers might have hinted as to how a Twitter spat, let alone a war  would all end....

On money and wealth

Hi All,

I'm pretty well off with a bank account at a private family owned bank ,as are my siblings, although I drive a mini (with pink, fluffy, fury dice of course!) . We're mostly businessmen/ businesswomen /merchants / entrepreneurs , which has been our family tradition for centuries. I was taught how to haggle by my grandfather, as he had in the Souk of Baghdad.

What keeps us on the ground is that because we're orphans , we were raised by our grandparents and great uncle. Both were of the wartime generation , the decades of rationing and my grandparents lost practically everything , having fled Iraq in 1941 with only two suitcases . They fought during the war and rebuilt their lives in Britain , but didn't let money change them in selfish uncaring or worshippers of wealth ( a form of idolatrous worship) , although rather sadly they kept packed suitcases under the bed , just in case Jews had to flee again .

My bro Sam worked at burger king making cheeseburgers of all things on the minimum wage ,after university and claims as a result he’s a fully trained chef (which is true in so much as he also did the vocational training and qualifications), but some of the stories he comes up with would fill an entire book.

My sister Rachel worked for a London merchant bank and underwriters , but found the culture ( not just the - British understatement alert - sexism ) of excessive spending repellent and left. There was the bonus season and some of them complained that £250,000 a year 'basic' and a £1,000,000 'bonus' was "like working for charity"(!).

In fact it was like this:

And as for money. It has a function, but doesn’t define whatever a person is or is not. I always think about this sketch and the guy in the red kippah reminds me of one of my bros , when I encounter money snobs:

Soft left, Brexit and Von Papen

Hi all,

My theory is that fundamentalist arch remainers will  do anything to stop brexit. There's no price high enough to do so. Hence my Von Papen theory.

Now for those of you who don't know who Von Papen was , he was the guy who entered into a coalition with and therefore let the Nazis into power. Once in the door.... the rest is ' history'...

I'm NOT suggesting that the extreme socialist left that currently controls Labour is or are  Nazi. What I'm suggesting is that the centre left liberals and remainers are so fixated by brexit they are happy to see the current Labour party put into power & like Von Papen who thought he could manipulate and control Hitler,  these soft leftists believe they can "control" Corbyn and his hard left acolytes, eventually  getting rid of them for a blairite figure. 

This is a dangerous conceit. People thought the same of another conviction politician from the right,  Mrs Thatcher. And I doubt that Corbyn and his acolytes would allow such a coup or take it lying down. 

Morgan Stanley , the American merchant bank, has recently noted that a Corbyn government is "worse than hard brexit"

Soft left liberals are playing with fire and they haven't and can't control the hard core left. ... they need to accept the vote and move on. Not undermining it at every opportunity,  and subsequently trying to overturn the result, which in itself is bad for democracy. If an elite can overturn a result of a democratic vote, what is to stop people from eventually ignoring democracy and it's smooth transition from one party to another? That's what REALLY bugs me about this referendum . If the soft left  continue on this trajectory and go against a democratic vote and put Corbyn into power ,  the results will be far far worse than anything negative about Brexit.

Never mind the Morgan Stanley report.  Just remember Comrade Corbyn and his praise of socialist paradise Venezuela....

Congratulations Captain Windsor and Miss Markle

Hi All,

They're tying the knot next year !

Congratulations to both.

God save the Queen!

I'm an MP not a celebrity?

Hi All,

Q:  Hannah , what do you think of lesbian former Scottish Labour leader  Karen Dugdale going on " I'm a celebrity" .

A: I think she's silly. I wouldn't agree if my partner buggered off to Australia to do a series of" I'm a celebrity" . She clearly has a lot more talent than to go on that show and in anyways Scottish MSPs get £58,000 a year. That's a bloody good salary, especially in Scotland. She should be representing her constituents and not taking part of a mindless tv  show.

Rhodesia : socialism in action

At long bloody last the wicked  tyrant has gone.

  Peacefully. 

Let us hope that Zimbabwe or as it used to be called Rhodesia can , as it used to be , get back to being a successful country .

Notes

As us Jews know

1. Expropriation of a minorities property and businesses   ( in this case toward white Africans) doesn't work
2. Racism  ( in this case toward white Africans) doesn't work
3. Printing cash to fund deficits doesn't work  (Note for Britain, USA, Japan and Europe)
4. One party socialist  oligarchical states don't work
5. A good government doesn't let their people starve to death
6. A good government doesn't allow their people to starve to death because of  socialist ideological politics
7. A good government doesn't allow its leadership to live in extreme luxury when your people have been made destitute because of racism and socialism


And

 8.  Socialism didn't fail in Rhodesia / Zimbabwe. It was being faithfully implemented. 

Remember that leftists .

Interlude

Hi All,

Part iii

The main building of Esther's Souk, the famous banking and insurance market based on the Caldera of Elyisum Mons , Mars,  resembles a strange cross between the palace of Versailles , a Greek temple , mogul palace, medieval citadel and public library, with gold leaf stuck onto it for good measure. What looked like a colossal  copper and glass Tagine sat on the Panethon  like facade .

The house of Gorf Hall LLP, has its office , just   by the main  lobby. It was  one long dimly  corridor whose central piece on two walls  were the Elgin marbles , purchased for N 2,000,000 (£400 billion) from the UK after Brexit, half of which went to Greece to pay off their debts.  The Gorf are natives of Tau Ceti , resemble humanoid frogs in tweed.  As luck would have it their home system also contained three planets as big as Jupiter , whose primary constituent was molten gold , which made them all collectively multi billionaires several times over and therefore desiring to make some more money used Esther's Souk as a way to invest in the universe. One of the Gorf's main clients -for reinsurance and funding of their Investment Bank (used by the 139 Dioceses of the wider galactic Anglican Communion)- is the Church Of England via  "Via Media Risk Management ", the church's in house brokers.

The Church of England is much like the old Austria -Hungry : an ramshackle anachronistic feature , forever predicted to collapse or split due to its internal contradictions, but some how surviving and holding  despite the  vicious critics. It was anachronistic because it was the official state church in England ,  The monarch was supreme governor,  including clerics in its legislature, yet a small percentage  of Englishmen actually attended its services, in what has become in effect a secular society, yet most Englishmen claimed to be nominal  members of this same church! There were more observant  Anglicans on Venus or Alpha Centauri  than England. It was also always in permanent crisis mode, in this case added to the lists of  the usual centuries old debates on women vicars and gay marriages, there was the  argument about  allowing AI to become Priests  i.e. " robot vicars "  and as a subsidiary issue whether they could be married in church. A third and final issue was whether this could include gay, lesbian and transgender AI.  Robot rights campaigners had also been threatening to "out" some clerics who were allegedly robots.

This related to finances because the Church of England is all about compromise. Thus the investment bank division of the church had been tasked with purchasing and developing planets to which dissident Conservative and Liberal Anglicans could go , in order to avoid a split. These planets would be administered by supportive  "flying bishops".  All well and good, but poneying up the  trillions this required was no mean feat , even if in the long term it would produce a tidy return, finding the cash to cover this exercise was a permanent hand to mouth affair, until the Gorf lead a couple of investment houses in providing full and long term investment in the project.

Unfortunately all of these issues had recently come to a head. The Bishop of Venus, who'd recently been married to her atheist transgender lesbian partner who was also a robot, had been nominated as the next Archbishop  of Canterbury , the leader of the Church of England and Anglican Communion.  While almost no one in England at the time battered an eyelid or actually cared , it was the spark that set off a financial , diplomatic and military crisis...

Lord privy seal

One of the more bizarre things of Britain is that we have " the Lord Privy Seal'. This is apparently one of the "ancient offices" of state. We also have a "privy council" of which the cabinet is an executive committee.

Yet ..... a privy is :

"a toilet located in a small shed outside a house or other building"

When I first started out , my first job was as a cleaner, toilets were my speciality. Why I could have been a Lady Privy Seal....

Also does this explain our Brexit negotiations and the current crap , useless, rudderless government we have? 

Esther's Souk

Hi All,

What ?

Esther's Souk is a galactic financial market for insurance ,  banking and auctioning off the assets of bankrupt companies. It started off as a human style public house by Esther of Manchester, where merchants and miners used to meet to discuss business. 

Martian currency 

The Martian currency is a strong hard currency and is on a gold standard , in other words whilst  paper and e currency circulate , alongside gold coinage,  they are convertible on demand to physical  gold bars and coins.  It is divided into Noors ( a bar of 224 ounces of gold or 1 stone ) ,  Ducats(a 1 ounce of gold coin )  and a Furling ( a quarter of an ounce gold coin).

Human currency is also linked to gold, so the exchange rates mean one Noor buys :

£200,000
$320,000
€450,000
¥ 35,000,000

Martian Banking and insurance

Mars has no central bank and this function is carried out by Her Majesty's Imperal Treasury. Regulation is informal and should any bank be taking on too much risk, they are summoned to the Lord High Treasurers office for a "raising on the eyebrows" , which is enough to bring wayward banks and insurers into line. There is a strict no bail out policy and banks are simply taken over and liquidated within 48 hours.

The banking and insurance industry is strictly split into 8  recognised categories :

1. Personal
2. Business
3. Investment
4. Private ( for the mega rich)
5.Safety Deposit ( for e currency and any physical valuables. These banks aren't allowed to use any deposits, but charge fees to keep the deposits 100% safe)
6. Captive (banks owned by businesses who act as banker or insurer to their parent company)
7. Reinsurance
8. Merchant Banking (purchasing equity in companies rather than loans)

In addition every citizen and resident of Mars is given a Treasury credit disk (similar to a pocket  calculator)  which act as as de facto bank account where taxes, benefits, refunds etc are paid . This device can be used to pay external vendors within the empire. There are modest fees for transactions In addition citizens can (like mobile phones) buy private credit disks, thus by passing banks altogether, thus making them less "too big to fail". The difference is that you have to pay fees for renting and transactions.

Where is Esther's Souk?

An  volcano on Mars or Bahar , located in the imperial ocean. In English Latin Elysium Mons. In native Martian Koor I Esther (mountain of the star).  Esther's Souk is located on the summit caldera.

Facts

Elysium Mons is a volcanic formed island , some 240 kilometres in diameter and 16 kilometres high.  It is rich in minerals and metals, which are extensively mined. The permanent population is 178  million , but tourism and commuters bring the daily total of people to at least a billion.  The summit caldera is some 20 kilometres long, 5 kilometres deep  and has been flooded by water .  Numerous islands and underwater settlements  have been constructed. 

How it works 

The Souk is an marketplace rather than a bank or insurer and is permitted to take on more risk than mainstream institutions.

There are two sides to the Souk. The Houses and the Brokers. The Houses are the managing agents of syndicates  (pools of money)  who use this cash for insurance, investment and banking purposes. The brokers are employed by businesses and individuals to obtain credit, investment  and insurance from the houses. These policies are often more risky or difficult to obtain than in the mainstream markets.

The Houses- mostly partnerships and familiar concerns-  raise cash by forming and managing syndicates . These syndicates are formed for a specific purpose and length of time. Syndicates sell a specific amount of units to investors  , with a unit having a face value of 100 Noors;  they can be bought and sold on the open market, but the syndicate can't issue new units .   The Houses take 2% as an administration fee from this money , the rest is put into a fund  for loans, investments and for  insurance capacity. At the end of the syndicates life, the fund's asset value is returned to the syndicate in cash, which is distributed  to unit holders , less 20%  for the House. The aim is to at least recoup the initial face value of the units sold and a profitable return.

Esther's today 

The Souk has over 1,000 Houses  managing 63,000,000 syndicates and total capital capacity of  over N 60,000  quadrillion, spanning most of the universe . There are some 4,680 accredited brokering firms. Unlike other markets business is conducted face to face "at the House  bar" and there is a bell to signify first and last orders. Rounds describe a situation in which syndicates spread the risk by taking percentages of the risk. And a shofar blows anytime there's a big loss.

The original public house is still in use , although the Soul itself is located on an adjacent island and is housed in a building modelled after the palace of Versailles.

The tent

Hi All,

Part II

Around the edge of the tent sat three others of the of MESS or  Martian External Security Service, officially part of the Foreign Office :  "Rabbi" Jack David, Secretary of the Foreign Office "out doors"  recreation and swimming practice; "Vedek" Sir Jim Kumar who ran the Foreign Office "acquisitions and Hedge fund"  practice ; and "Rural Dean" Lord Swallowdon,  Secretary to the Emperor,  the 'Walsingham' of the Martian Empire,  whose hands manipulated kings, bishops and knights of several governments as part of the Foreign Office "chess team and social club " practice.

'Glad you could join us, bird' said Swallowdon aka the rural dean . He was by all appearance an old - in fact 67 million years-   snow white haired man dressed like an Edwardian Gentleman come village Parson : courtly , tall and bespectacled and sad looking, with a deep rich voice that seemed to come out of something larger than himself.

' No problem' the  Bird  replied. He poured a cup of tea from the central table and sat himself down into the deck chair  left for him.

'A problem has arisen' said the Vedek , ' We need your departments help'

The bird nodded.  A list of the universe's most villainous riff raff appeared in mind :  ruthless hordes of Daleks, legions of Cybermen and their cousins the Borg, religious zealots of the Derek of Luton Church, the slave Empire and blood sucking crazies of Leopoldie, or the crazed, sadistic and psychopathic Hamster men of Hamstarar. ' Gladly. I'm always happy to stuff the raw sage and onion of Martian justice up the raw  turkey of galactic oppression'. 

The Vedek nodded to the Rabbi . 'One told you he was keen'.

The Rural Dean leaned across to him . ' Our colleague's department, called the Glasgow KISS, should it actually exist , he said, looking towards the bird , ' would have carried out  some fantastic work over the past couple of centuries. Recall the Hamster men Minister of Communication ? Or the disappearance of Davros?  Had we been responsible in any official or unofficial way, it's our colleague here you'd have to thank for taking them off to the wooden hills of Bedfordshire'.

The Rabbi raised his eyebrows , 'oy, that was your work ?'

' One will only say that we can only hope to retain Martian gentleness , justice and decency by protecting ourselves'.

'So what happened to them'?

' We shot the genocidal war criminal bastards'. The bird shrugged. ' They received a fair and balanced trial by the Emperor herself.  So what is the problem you need fixing, haven't you tried any of the other services  ?'

The appalled look and sputtering that followed suggested that this was no option .  'Those oiks?! The Vedek said in exasperation. 'They'd only steal the sandwiches'

The Rabbi said 'oy vey and the furniture'

'You know I've heard that the others aren't even educated at Cambridge or Snowflake . To think that the whole blasted Foreign Office, going .... redbrick!' The Rural Dean shuddered.

'Gentleman please'. The bird's eye narrowed. ' what matters here is skill , not Estate. My people are chosen on ability , whether a Cambridge punt is a way of incapacitating someone. What matters here is preservation of common decency and we use the best tools for the job. And my people are the best in this  business'.

'Indeed they are '  admitted the Rural Dean. A  dongle flew from his pocket and the bird just managed to catch it. 'Herein is a detailed file , but a few hours ago and a dimension away from here our homeland was attacked. Esther's Souk, the heart of the Empire's financial services was attacked in a terrorist outrage , leaving 45 dead and 346  injured . You are to find the culprits and , report back to myself and the Emperor . No vigilantism . Do you understand?'

Shocked as he was by this news - having spent a while away from the homeland universe- the bird  stood from his seat and said 'I understand'.

And with that the game was afoot...

The village fete

Hi All,

Part 1 of a story...

 It was a bright cold day on the first day of Hanukkah and by coincidence Christmas eve. The church village clock was striking  11 as the  church warden and verger tried to repair it , with some helpful ecumenical help from the Methodist pastor and Sephardi Rabbi, all of  whom had washed down generous helpings of the village fates mulled wine.

 Lord  Sir Samuel  Robin , Baronet of Ayboe , dressed in his usual tweed ,  watched with rye amusement , cupped his hand around his Cuban cigar ,lit it and said "balls"  to no-one in particular. He strode across the snow engorged field toward the encampment  of portaloos and tents, where a banner reading "Little Doddington Village Fate and family fun day: a Dickensian Christmas and a happy Hanukkah "  flapped in the wind like a dying fish.

Slowly he toured the stalls, determined to at least look like he was enjoying the experience.  He indulged in some bakewell tart , a burger and a pint of mulled wine. He discovered there was nothing worth buying on the elephant stand, he couldn't grasp a duck , the curate and vicar had gone from the water splashing and the sights were fixed on the shoot stall. Finally after ignoring Morris dancers and nearly been bitten by the grumpy  camels of the nativity scene , he turned to the last stall.

'Guess how much this Apple pie is worth'  said the twenty something girl behind the table. Apart from the tattoos , a long knife scar down one cheek and an eye patch she did look like a typical upper middle class young member of the Women's Institute and village conservative youth club.

Robin, whose operatives in the Martian Security circles knew him as "the bird " , made a show of looking at the pie. 'One pound, two shillings and two pence' he replied.

The girl nodded . ' they're out the back'

' Thanks. Fantastic breasts and a nice  ass, btw' the Bird added ,as the girl giggled sweetly ,  and he strode to the tent at the back of the fete.

Shabbat Shalom

Open thread and see you all tomorrow evening!

Paddington bear swear advert?

As readers will know we don't hide away from controversy on this blog. So let's look at one of the big controversial issues of the day :  was there swearing in the Marks and Spencer Paddington advert?  I have watched it and I don't think there was any swearing.

Here's the video :

 What do readers think?

Ecumenical post of the week

Hi All,

A new feature on this blog is where I ask  Ecumenical questions about other faiths. 

The first is from Sam:

What's the arch bit in archbishop and archangel? 

Also do you get female angels, like women vicars and bishops ?

Gone by Christmas?

Just like the old saying about the first world war " it will be all over by Christmas "-  But they never said which one-  is pretty much where we are with the current Conservative government.

With Pritti Patel's forced resignation ( for going on holiday to Israel and meeting some Israeli politicians, without telling anyone) that's another cabinet minister gone within a week. 

The hysterical remain media are pouring out a negative re run of the referendum every day and make no bones about the agenda of stopping Brexit at all costs....

 Like John Major's government it seems it is almost impossible to do a reboot and get the government going again. Except unlike Tony Blair who at the time seemed like a safe pair of hands and was distinctly centre right,  our opposition is led by far left populists .

 Do the liberal centrists in the remain camp realise what they're letting into power and the chaos it will cause? On day one of a Corbyn government there will be a run on the pound. Labour claims they've foreseen this and will impose capital controls. That will help with them staying in Europe and its sacred free movement of people and capital. It will also help remain voting London, which is reflective of the " national" remain press, because financial services thrive on restrictions on capital flows , don't they ?

 Oh.

 Sorry my bad.

They don't.....

Welcome to Weimar Britain

On blogging

Hi All,

There's three ways of blogging. The first is to find a couple of blogs and comment on them. The second is to write a blog of your own. The third is to try to do both of the above.

Whenever I log into my Google blogging account, the page has an ad with the words :

"Publish  your passions your way"

And indeed this is exactly why someone should blog : to get off one's chest whatever bug bear you have or whatever it is you want to say. You do blogging for yourself and if others like it they will comment. You have to keep going on because while people may read the blog, it takes quite a lot for people to comment on it.

What I find difficult is that when you try to write your own blog -and it isn't easy keeping up with daily posts - and in addition comment elsewhere you tend to spread yourself thinly and sooner or later one has to give. 

On balance I think I prefer writing for my own blog or in this case a joint blog with my partner. I often find when you comment on other blogs you can end up with a situation wherein you batter your head against a brick wall or you end up trying to argue on multiple fronts with several different commentators, which ends up draining you of time and energy.

By contrast I find that while our blog is relatively small in commentators (but surprisingly a fair amount of people actually read it)  that now we've sorted out the comments system we can have intelligent and adult discussion , while having a laugh. This is the way blog commenting should be and I bet if you asked a blogger with hundreds of comments , that they'd prefer the handful that can contribute in a meaningful way. This isn't to say that blogs should be devoid of criticism or debate. But I do think even under pseudonyms one should have a certain standard. Even if it is difficult to maintain .

So in short I'm looking forward to getting back into focus and focusing on blogging here  rather than chasing my tail in other places.

Varoufakis and Brexit

Hi All,

While Yanis Varoufakis is an arch leftist - I am currently reading through his account of how the EU treated Greece during the crisis ,Adults in the Room: My Battle with Europe’s Deep Establishment, he does at least get the EU :

In truth, Brussels is a democracy-free zone. From the EU’s inception in 1950, Brussels became the seat of a bureaucracy administering a heavy industry cartel, vested with unprecedented law-making capacities. Even though the EU has evolved a great deal since, and acquired many of the trappings of a confederacy, it remains in the nature of the beast to treat the will of electorates as a nuisance that must be, somehow, negated. The whole point of the EU’s inter-governmental organisation was to ensure that only by a rare historical accident would democratic mandates converge and, when they did, never restrain the exercise of power in Brussels.

 This is from an article  which Varoufakis  wrote in the guardian about the tactics that the EU will and actually are playing against Theresa May:  although coming from the left he is naturally critical of May, I do think the article , if you don't want to pay £20 for the book,is worth a read.

Prologue

Hi All, 

The BUDKB (holdings) plc , which stood for Britische und Deutsche Kaiserliche Bankengruppe was typical of banks in the galactic and global age : an Anglo German bank, whose CEO was a Gorf  , headquartered in Frankfurt, listed on the London Stock Market , registered in Dublin for tax purposes & for regulatory purposes île de la côte d'or, which despite its French sounding was a British overseas territory and light touch to non existent regulator. The bank itself was a  vast conglomerate web a "universal" bank and insurance company, including personal, private , investment, merchant and corporate banking- insurance , spread over the world and the universe.  

The balance sheet was over € 2.5 Octillon , i.e. you add 27 zeros to the 2.5. It was too big to fail. But it was failing and no one could agree whose responsibility it was or exactly how to bail it out  and perhaps more ominously whether they had the money to ...

Films to watch

Hi all,

Three cool films lined up to watch for the next two months:

1). Paddington 2

2). Star Wars the last Jedi

And finally :

3) Justice League

Bonfire night and pets

Hi,

Well we're battering down the hatches as it's fireworks and bonfire night. Our labs don't mind, but our Macaw and lop rabbits do.

Our chameleon is just chilling:

Vice President

Hi All,

An ecumenical post.

 Christian  friend advised me that :

The Pope is the Vice-regent of Christ building His Kingdom of believers here and providing stewardship of His people until His return. And Christians don't believe in an earthly Kingdom or a "utopia on earth" - that's a Jewish believe and why He was rejected and killed.

So if the pope is Jesus's Vice-regent which I understand to be like a vice president - the Mike Pence or Dan Quayle of the ecclesiastical world- how does Justin Welby fit in? Like he's Jesus's Secretary of state or prime minister? Or is that Tony Blair's job?

And if Christianity doesn't believe their messiah  in a utopia on earth - as this is Jewish- what exactly is the point of Jesus (apparently) coming back?

Can any one help this confused Jew?

Religious Zionism and the three oaths

Hi All,

Q:Hannah, Could you explain religious Zionism in the context of Ketobut 111a?

A:

This question is being asked because the passage in the Talmud is often used as a "proof text" for those Orthodox Jews who oppose Zionism and the creation of modern Israel, most notably the Neturei Karta and Satmar sects .

I would like to point out , though, that every religious Jew   is actually a Zionist of sorts , because even those opposed to the creation of Israel as a state, do acknowledge and believe that Eretz Israel (land of Israel) was promised to Jews by God and that the right of Jews to this land is permanent and inalienable. Where there is difference is the agency i.e. the mechanism which is used for Jews to set up a state and see Jews return to the land. 

You see before the creation of Israel, many ( but not all as there always was a strand of religious Zionism) religious Jews did argue that to attempt to recreate Jewish rule in Israel was blasphemous because it would rely on human agency only. Furthermore hastening salvation and messiah's coming was considered a sign of disbelief in God's abilities and therefore rebellious against him , therefore secular atheist Jews could have no part in God's divine plan. Indeed so the argument goes, we cannot act on our own initiative to return to the Land.

The key text for this is Ketubot 111a. The brief summary of this passage is:

ג' שבועות הללו למה אחת שלא יעלו ישראל בחומה ואחת שהשביע הקדוש ברוך הוא את ישראל שלא ימרדו באומות העולם ואחת שהשביע הקדוש ברוך הוא את אומות העולם שלא ישתעבדו בהן בישראל יותר מדאי.

"Why/What are these Three Oaths? One, that Israel should not storm the wall. Two, the Holy One adjured Israel not to rebel against the nations of the world. Three, the Holy One adjured the nations that they would not oppress Israel too much".

So :

A). We don't have the agency to act without God 

and

B)

1). Israel (Jews) cannot reclaim the land by force

2). Israel (Jews) cannot rebel against the nations of the world

3). The nations will not oppress Israel (Jews) too much.

The problem with A is that the first exile was brought to and end by human agency. In fact not just that but by a non Jew ! Called Cyrus of persia, who conquered and ruled in benevolent strength a vast and mighty empire (2 Chronicles 36:22-23) who issued a decree allowing the Jews to return from exile and to rebuild the Temple! Obviously it was G-d who delivered Babylon into Cyrus's hands (Cyrus himself acknowledged this); but the same could be said regarding World War I, when the gentile British captured what was then Palestine from the Ottoman Empire and subsequently permitted Jewish immigration to the Land. 

Indeed Nachmanides wrote:

"That we are commanded to take possession of the Land which the Almighty, Blessed Be He, gave to our forefathers, to Avraham, to Yitzchak, and to Yaakov; and not to abandon it to other nations, or to leave it desolate, as He said to them, You shall dispossess the inhabitants of the Land and dwell in it, for I have given the Land to you to possess it, (Numbers, 33:53) and he said, further, To Inherit the Land which I swore to your forefathers, (to give them,) behold, we are commanded with the conquest of the land in every generation."

Rabbi Yitzhak Kook argued that even atheist Jews have a spark within their soul and were actually committing Mitzvah for God :

"Secular Zionists may think they do it for political, national or socialist reasons, but in fact – the actual reason for them coming to resettle in Israel is a religious Jewish spark ("Nitzotz") in their soul, planted by God. Without their knowledge, they are contributing to the divine scheme and actually committing a great Mitzvah.

The role of religious Zionists is to help them to establish a Jewish state and turn the religious spark in them into a great light. They should show them that the real source of Zionism and the longed-for Zion is Judaism and teach them Torah with love and kindness. In the end, they will understand that the laws of Torah are the key to true harmony and a socialist state (not in the Marxist meaning) that will be a light for the nations and bring salvation to the world."

And what of point B? 

On a technical level one could argue that the three oaths because they are Aggadic Midrash, and therefore they are not Halakhically compulsory . Aggadic Midrashim, as opposed to Halachic Midrashim are not traditionally understood as a valid source for Halacha.  Furthermore The Rambam, Moses Maimonides, in his Epistle to Yemen specifically states that the Oaths are “metaphorical” and in his writings he places great value upon living in the Land of Israel, and forbids leaving it.

But let us take at face value that they have some force as far as creating Israel is concerned. In fact Jews didn't take the land by force. Let us remember that there has been a continual Jewish presence in the Holy Land even during exile. Let us also recall that like Persia the super power of the time, the other super power - the British empire - issued its own decree allowing Jews in exile to return. 

Furthermore let us recall  later on that the United Nations , the body that represents the nations of the world , voted by resolution 181 to recognise a Jewish state. Jews therefore did not take the land by force and neither did they upset the  majority of the nations of the world. The nations of the world actually encouraged and recognised that Jews could set up a state. 

That the full might of Arab armies tried to crush this state meant that the subsequent war of independence for Israel was not a war of conquest ,but of self defence,  and this is true of subsequent wars including the 1967 war in which east Jerusalem and Judea and Samaria were taken from Jordan ( not a mythical Palestine) and Gaza from Egyptian occupation. 

Finally the third oath can be seen to be null and void as the nations of the earth have not oppressed Jews in a small way, but in a massive way . In fact the holocaust and even pre holocaust ,  shows the opposite: the nations did hurt and hate Jews. Therefore the first two only apply if the third was kept. This clearly did not happen.

Finally a thought from Rabbi Ben-Zion Meir Hai Uziel ,  reflecting my own hope of  idealistic  religious Zionism: 

" The ingathering of exiles, which has taken place during the past few years, is the seed from which will flower the complete redemption. The appointed time will then arrive and the Creator of the world who has His chosen people and Holy Land will cause the spirit of wisdom and strength to rest with us. In the hearts of all our brave pioneers may they receive the crown of victory and may He give us this land, which was sworn to our forefathers. 

Remember this, know and believe that it is the hand of God that performs this in order to fulfill the words of His holy prophets and for the eternal peace of the Jewish nation and for the peace of the whole world. 

He has caused peace to be dependent upon Israel and their adherence to the Torah and commandments, for by their hand, the Holy One of Israel will be sanctified and will redeem and teach the nations to know the oneness of God. 

This belief will bring upon its wings peace and truth within our fold and a just peace between all the nations and man shall neither fear nor destroy his fellow man, neither will government nor nations destroy one another for they will all know Him. The land will be filled with the knowledge of God as the waters of the sea.

I end with this blessing:

“May the Lord our God remain with us as He did with our fathers and may He neither abandon nor forsake us, and may our hearts yearn for Him to walk in all His paths, to follow His commandments so that we may be blessed with goodness for all our days.”

Balfour : hooray!

Hi all,

100 years ago today:

NYC attack

Hi All,

Terrible news from New York and the latest terror incident.

Say safe , God be with you and God bless America.