Sir Humpf on EU

Hi All,

Lessons from the past (and for EU Liberal) on Britain and the EU:

Retro tv shows

Hi All,

As we await news of The Donald's latest tweets and May's cabinet reshuffle , here is a cool retro tv show intro for Relic Hunter, when life was much simpler , they should bring this one back!😃

Trigger warnings for failure?

A friend of mine or more accurately an associate on my course , said that they had recently been playing a couple of games online via various apps. She said that she felt "triggered" by the fact that sometimes she lost and words came up along the lines of "level failed. You did not reach the goal". She felt that there should be a law by which games come with "trigger warnings" about  failing  and explaining that it is actually ok to fail , that it isn't you whose at fault. 

My response was that , aside from being a ludicrous suggestion, success and failure were just part of normal existence and nothing to be triggered about;  also that part of good conduct is to be magnanimous in victory or defeat. 

She said I was being  harsh  & nasty. 

Was I?

George III tweets : I'm a stable genius

After the early release of an explosive new book "George : the man who lost America and his mind" , the King took to Twitter to update his 8 million followers. Declaring in one tweet that he was not mentally ill ,but in fact  "a stable genius " and in another a photo with him and the King of Prussia (in a reality a tree)  shaking hands .  

The King also tweeted to Napoleon that he had "a bigger navy than you".  Tories rallied round the King after the publication of the book and his apparent falling out with former Prime Minster Pitt the ever so young. The King lambasted the Whig mainstream media as "fake liberal news". 

In other news war with France seems inevitable....

Shabbat new year

Hi All,

Shabbat Shalom , the first of the secular New Year!

the Hirsel accords

Hi All,

In the 1950s , when Britain was rebuilding after the second world war , a giant zigguart was discovered underneath the city of Birmingham.  In one of the chambers of this monolith  was a portal, a space bridge to another universe, built by the natives of Mars as a way of escaping a war that they were losing.

After the first trepid explorers entered the portal they returned with visitors, the Martians themselves. In the Hirsel accords ( named after the  Scottish stately home of the Foreign Secretary of the time)  the Martians agreed to give humanity the usage of  space exploration technology. The zigguart was designed to build and  send probes throughout our galaxy, each carrying a device capable of instantaneous transportation from one point to another, a stargate .

In return humans agreed never to step foot into the Martian universe (unless asked) and to share any and all information on the planets and people encountered with the Martians . Oh and 'our' Mars would be recognised as sovereign Martian territory. The zigguart itself was transported- "beamed" - to Mars and the British stargate moved to the Falkland Islands....

The château neuf du vin de l'empereur

Hi All,

Having your own personal vineyards, winery, cellar and bottling plant was  one of the advantages of being the Emperor of the largest and most powerful civilisation in the universe. 

This wasn't on a planet either, but on a space ship, a million miles long , a further million wide and a million tall. If she -the ship herself is a living being, having been  germinated & grown in Jupiter's atmosphere [Martian ships can be conventionally constructed or be organic animal, vegetable and mineral varieties]  was placed through the sun , she would stick out at either end like a piece of Blackpool rock. 

She was designed and then grown by the entire staff and students at the Imperial University of Juipter, as a challenge given to them by the Emperor on a Royal visit.  There's also a beer equivalent and today the university is  , for staff, students and alumni granted beer and wine from the estate of these imperial ships . The château neuf du vin de l'empereur - the marketing and business studies students thought French would give her a "sexual"  appeal and in any case the outward appearance of the ship looked like some medieval castle- was quite a ship..

"As you can see Prime Minister Heidi Berkshire , this is one of the barrel cellars". There must have been millions of oak barrels stacked in the cellar, but these barrels were as big as any skyscraper." They've been there for a least a thousand years, slowly fermenting and making Martian red wine: the barrels are made from carbon dioxide and yeast wood,which leads to the fermentation of the wine , gives it distinct flavour and -".

Batset  cut off her sentence as she could tell  the human wasn't even listening. "Are my apologises , it must be difficult to take all of this in Prime Minister".

"It's too much , too much , a space ship that makes wine and a six foot  talking tiger wrapped in tin foil from Mars, with a Birmingham accent... it's , it's ... unbelievable!" 

" Well Scotsman Lord Hume took it in his stride as did Mrs Thatcher, Jim Callaghan loved it . Then the Russians are a good sport too ;   Yeltsin  and I used to drink like chimneys and smoke like fish as you say. Mind you Juncker gives even I a run for my money and I have three livers "  said Batest encouragingly . "And in any case I'm not a tiger  nor am I a wrapped in tin foil, I'm certainly NOT  Martian and my accent Birmingham? BIRMINGHAM? ! Black country if you don't mind: lot's of planets have a black country ".

"Then what..."

There was a crash, a boom and everything went dead..

Happy birthday Esther!

Hi All,

Brexit page

To stop people (or rather person)  from trolling every  thread with Brexit diatribes  , this is a dedicated  space for people to rant about it to hearts content, 24-7. 

Yorkshire Dr Who?

Hi All,

Some fans object to the new Who having a Yorkshire accent. Others don't like the" vagina and breasts". Others just don't like both. I understand that  The people's front of Judea or maybe The Judea's people's front  don't like the show full stop.

hmmmm .... Yorkshire plus a vagina and breasts?

There's nowt like such a combination !

In fact. Pretty cool and awesome I'd say. Anyways it will be like the tea advert (very British) where the plucky Yorkshire team sort out the invading aliens :

For everything there is a season

Our King  Shlomo [ Solomon] of blessed memory once said "To everything there is a season and a time for everything under heaven".  One thing I didn't understand as a Jew, but I do now, is why is it that we're just a very small section of humanity , yet God chose us to glorify him throughout the nations of this earth?  Ecclesiastes was written by King Solomon , yet is known to billions of people, as are the Jewish scriptures , even though us Jews are tiny in terms of numbers. The Rambam explains this in his writings, but we need not dwell on that today.

For  this is a new year. At least the one which is universally recognised. 

There is a  time for everything. 

Reflection :

What is your time to do and not to do?