Happy Passover

Hi All ,

Last post from us until Tuesday.

Happy Passover and Shabbat Shalom!

A few cool   contemporary Midrash songs - all in English -  to help this open thread:

 WHO let the Jews out?

BREAKING FREE


Cool stuff from the well cool fountainheads in Israel

Coming Home

Les Misérables - Moses/ Passover version

This is one for the  Corbyn Cult

Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men? It is the song of  The Jewish  PEOPLE who will NOT be SLAVES AGAIN ....

Feel free to add your comments and songs in this open thread.

HAPPY PASSOVER!

NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM!🔯😎🏄🎼🍷😃

Sephardim VS Ashkenazim on Passover

Hi All,

As usual us Sephardim have different laws with regard to Passover.  This helpful video explains all 🔯😉😎

Scottish in space

Hi All,

When you need a universal translator 😆

The kingdom of Mercia

Hi all, 

Mercia- a state of two dozen systems and other territory-  founded 2029AD,  i.e. 370 years ago by descendants of the British West Midlands, one of the Heptarchy of British founded colonies , now an independent state .  With the use of  the massive resources available, it is a successful free trading , capitalist ,  manufacturing , financial services and tertiary sector economy known as " the work shop of the galaxy" and the "planets of a thousand trades" . Despite this , agricultural output is such at it can cover 80%  of needs .

The currency is, like all strong economies,  on  a non decimal  gold standard:  the Merican Livre of 7000 Piastres . Thus the M£ is a  gold of   .999 gold purity, literally a pound in weight . Other smaller  denominations such as the groat, florin, sixpence shilling, penny and farthing also   contain various amounts of gold  . There are also various paper and e money, which can, on demand, be exchanged for quantities of  gold.  The Mercia realms have many asteroid belts containing a whole periodic table of metals, including gold.  For comparison one Livre is roughly £13,600 or $20,000 in 21 st century fiat currency.

The kingdom is also bordered by a nebula of the remains of colliding neutron stars. This means that the kingdom has access to 500 earth masses ( the entire "weight"  of  earth x 500) and large silver & platinum deposits.  The nebula was given - in order to avoid massive inflation-  to  the inter dimensional conglomerate of the Royal Imperial Martian Mining Company plc , in exchange for 1000 shares per capita. The  massive dividends from these shares are by law  but into a sovereign wealth fund.

The population is 100 billion:   65%  Human , 20% Martian and 15% "other alien".  Noted for a particular  English-speaking  derived language which in verbal format is a mixture of English   Brummiese , the black country  and Martian, with some RP via Solihull and Irish/ Scottish/ Indian/ Yiddish/ Ladino/ Arabic / Hebrew/ Chinese/ Persian/ Italian/ Greek/ French and Dutch thrown in, alongside other non human, non Martian language phrases.   The script is not written in the European / English/ Latin  script , but  in modern " classical"  Martian i.e. vertical  logographic  hieroglyphs.

There are dozens of religions , which follow a " confessional system"  similar to Israel,  in respect of civil religious matters, both human and non human. There is no establishment religion many are secular or identify in a purely cultural heritage sense,  but the Martian religion is the largest at 20 billion.  There is generally religious tolerance, in the traditional British sense of  providing  people don't go nutty or kick up a fuss, go against the public good ,  try revolution or terrorism . The 'non conformists'  Christians are the largest human origin religious denomination at 16 billion, followed by Roman Catholics at 15 billion, the Church of Mercia , an Anglican denomination,  is the third largest largest of human origin  religions , albeit with many alien converts  , are  13 billion, followed by Hindus at 10 billion and Islam  and Buddhists at 5 billion each , the higher understanding had 1 billion devout and the Lutonian religion half a billion. The Jewish population is 2 %  or 2 billion. 

The cuisine is a mixture of cultures, from Curries to fish n chips, to fried breakfast to black pudding, to meat stews and chicken casseroles,  cholnet, bagels,  pineapple fried fritters to Martian willies. The main non  alcoholic beverages  are tea, coffee and Bra. The alcoholic beverages include whiskey, port, wine. But above all  and remembering the brewing heritage of Burton on Trent,   galactic wide renowned beer ,  stout, porter,  ale and larger.  The strength ranges from 5% for a beer   to 50%  for Martian triple fermented Martian Merica ale.

The system of government is a parliamentary system , based on the Westminster model. There are three houses : the Commons (835,635 members) , the Lords (250)  and the Senate (435).  The  Martian Emperor is the Monarch / Queen. Similar to  Canada or Australia, but with the Martians exerting incredible influence " behind-the-scenes"  in what some call " the veiled protectorate".   The head of government is the chief Vizer.

Mercia is a middle ranking to   regional super power.  Mercia is one of the 33 states that has antimatter weapons of mass destruction and one of the dozen who can deploy  the ultimate weapon of mass destruction,  star destroyers , which can , literally cause  entire stars to go super nova, which in turn can obliterate entire planets. 

Cup of tea

Hi All,

'Goodness, a pot of tea costs 40 Septillion pounds :  three years ago you could get tea and a Belgium bun for a five pounds  and still have change!' Exclaimed Gertrude Ferguson .

'Actually love it's now 80 Septillion'  said the young barista behind the counter. 

'But I've only been in the que for five minutes!' Gertrude shouted, almost knocking  over the pram she took with her. 

'Boss says prices are going up again. They've just released a 1000 Septillion note and I'm getting a 1 quadrillion per minute pay rise'.

'Bloody Corbett' muttered Gertrude under her breath, referring to the current Labour Prime Minister , who had spent three years building "socialism in one country".  This involved nationalizing industry, collectivism of agriculture and spending, spending and spending on public services . When taxpayers had been milked and that cow was exhausted , given that no one wanted or could lend to the government, they'd simply printed as much as they wanted . This had of course created hyper inflation. The Zimbabwean dollar was worth more than pound  sterling. There was rumours that Mugabe was going to become government currency controller and take a seat in the Lords.

The barista's eyes narrowed. 'You're not one of those are you ?'

'One of what?

'A filthy banking Zionist! ' The Barista said. 'You know : the traitors, bankers and supporters of colonialism who controlled this country, via a secret cabal, before the last election and they were exposed. They're responsible for the cost of living increases, even as they are being reeducated. That's what the party and the BBC say'.

'Goodness no:  here I have my "denounce the Zionist - capitalist who cause great misery to the people " discount card. You see it is fully stamped'. 

'Great . That entitles you to a free bacon butty , we wouldn't want Zionists secretly pretending to be one of the people , you see until new legislation is passed forcing Zionists to wear identifying yellow stars, we have to be careful'.

'Marvelous' said Gertrude. ' But I'm vegetarian'.

'That's convenient'

'Well it's true. You don't think anything you've just said is antisemitic:  blaming Jews for everything , making them wear yellow stars?' 

'What?? I'm a fully paid up member of the party!  The only antisemitism that exists are the fascists of the soon to be outlawed conservative party!  No I am merely anti Zionist!  Zionists try to claim criticism of them equals antisemitism. Just because Jews are Zionists - and not all of them are -as there's some decent Jews who have a bit of humanity in them to denounce the Zionist entity . The Zionist regime must be destroyed! What a lie that an anti Zionist is antisemitic! But then that's what Zionists do. Lie. Throughout history,they've lied.  Hence people turn against them in the end.'

'But if you change the word Zionist to Jew and then actually look at historical antisemitism....  the Zionist regime is majority Jewish and you wish to destroy it ... Jews suffered a genocide... well surely you can join the dots?'

' No !  How dare you accuse me of such a thing!' And typical Zionist propaganda is to use the holocaust to make us feel sorry for them !  This justified theft of native land?!

Seeing that the conversation was going nowhere , Gertrude asked how much the tea would cost.

'So that's 80 Septs then'.

Gertrude shuffled through the pram - it contained no children- they were attending the socialist youth conference- but bundles of cash.  It seemed more dignified than using a wheelbarrow: credit, debit and e money couldn't cope with such large numbers , as there wasn't the resources to update the banking computer system .  'Let me see now ' she said as she began to bundles of cash onto the counter , until it was completely full of notes. 

The barista put the notes onto a set of scales - it was easier than counting the money-  satisfied she poured the tea inro the pot. Not that the tea was particularly great, as it was an  ersatz product.

Not long before Gertrude had finished her first gulp, she was arrested by the anti Zionist secret police and sentenced to the Yorkshire gulag, for untruths about the party....

The worst

Hi All,

There's a saying that goes something like "evil flourishes when good men do nothing".

In the recent antisemitism row, there's been the typical rallying round toward the leader (as you'd expect of any cult)  by the hard left activists. There's been a few good men and women in Labour , along with conservatives , who have spoken out and attended the rally on Monday afternoon and that's cool.

But contrary to the conspiracy theorists of the hard left the bulk of the Parliamentary Labour Party have been silent. The Blairites and pro European centre left are silent.  Of course one suspects that's because they tried and failed to dethrone Corbyn,  who got re-elected by a landslide of party members.  Yet those same MPs will eventually be targeted by activists and de selected themselves.  

I cannot help but imagine if the Labour leader had been caught posting on a KKK or anti Islamic website , then he'd be gone by now. Certainly if a conservative or ukip person had done that. But because it's only us, a half hearted and dragged out of him apology will do.  But what does this tell you about the so called Labour moderates?

That they have been mostly silent is disgraceful . Yes our politics is tribal , hence the old expression of north  constituencies electing a cat if it wore red or blue if in the south.  But surely principles matter more.  The antisemitism row is the key issue, but in respect to Brexit , then clearly they have a different vision to the leader. They should as a matter of conviction leave the Labour party and set up a new left- social democratic party.  If they genuinely adhere to anti racism and anti antisemitism that's what they would do. But they won't. Because our electoral system doesn't favour new parties. Hence the coalition within party that we have in left and right. But that doesn't mean that they are right. Sometimes principles trump political or tribal calculations.

Get rid of that personality cult

Hi All,

So Jeremy Corbyn officially apologised. One wonders where this leaves the Chakrabti report (which told us Labour had no antisemitism problem)  or even Ken Livingstone. But regardless of the apology - as worthless as a Zimbabwe quadrillion  dollar bill, until converted into hard currency of action - what I found shocking wasn't Corbyn. 

What was shocking was the reaction of so many Corbyn supporters , who seemed to be in denial and viciously- viciously  attacked anyone online who challenged their own narrative. The narrative being Corbyn being as close to sainthood or a secular Jesus type figure as possible. Corbyn is elevated to a secular Jesus with the mob of "Zionists " calling him to be crucified in an entirely unjustified and show trial like manner.  Rather than Jews being victims , it was now Corbyn and Labour who were victims of a conspiracy of Zionists.  Why? Because the mission and destiny of  Jesus- Corbyn threatens the Zionist dominion.

More than ever it seems Labour is dominated by a cult of personality and in this episode  Jews (or as they prefer Zionists)  were scheming Tories, who were trying to overthrow the beloved sainted "decent " great helmsman.  This attitude is more dangerous than one individual. For a brief moment it was as if online waves of  Torquemada , Himmler and Stalin were alive as the way us Jews see it , if you switch Zionist for Jew, you are getting back to those tyrants eras.

Moreover unlike other antisemitism, you get the self righteousness indignation of people accused of antisemitism. I'm anti Zionist, not antisemitic. You are libellous toward me. Evil Zionist. Zio Nazi. Etc.  Oh and the classic "as a Jew"  or "Jews I know hate Zionism".  The tiny grouping of Jews on the fringes of the community are wheeled out to provide cover. They are the "good"  Jew .  The rest of us are the "bad" Jews.

You can ask.  So why are you anti - to the point of dismantling - the world's only Jewish majority state under the guise of anti Zionism?  Why is having a majority Arab Islamic state in its place acceptable, but Jews must never be afforded a state? You see Arab Palestinians , from the leadership downward , would never allow Jews to continue to live in their Palestine ,which contrary to popular belief isn't Gaza or the West Bank, but would be the entirely of the old mandate. They are always silent on where Israeli Jews would go and who would absorb them into their population. 

Writing more than a century ago , Lord Acton wrote :

"The most certain test by which we judge whether a country is really free is the amount of security enjoyed by minorities."

I will feel more secure as a minority if I didn't fear the main opposition as it is now, getting to power. I never felt that way with previous Labour or Conservative governments in waiting.  As a minority I am feeling very insecure.  When or if Labour come to power with the current leadership, how free will Britain be?

Enough is enough

Hi All,

Statement regarding  Jeremy Cornyn and Labour  from the leadership  of the British Jewish community, following the latest controversy :

Today, leaders of British Jewry tell Jeremy Corbyn that enough is enough. We have had enough of hearing that Jeremy Corbyn “opposes antisemitism”, whilst the mainstream majority of British Jews, and their concerns, are ignored by him and those he leads. There is a repeated institutional failure to properly address Jewish concerns and to tackle antisemitism, with the Chakrabarti Report being the most glaring example of this.

Jeremy Corbyn did not invent this form of politics, but he has had a lifetime within it, and now personifies its problems and dangers. He issues empty statements about opposing antisemitism, but does nothing to understand or address it. We conclude that he cannot seriously contemplate antisemitism, because he is so ideologically fixed within a far left worldview that is instinctively hostile to mainstream Jewish communities.

When Jews complain about an obviously antisemitic mural in Tower Hamlets, Corbyn of course supports the artist. Hizbollah commits terrorist atrocities against Jews, but Corbyn calls them his friends and attends pro-Hizbollah rallies in London. Exactly the same goes for Hamas. Raed Salah says Jews kill Christian children to drink their blood. Corbyn opposes his extradition and invites him for tea at the House of Commons. These are not the only cases. He is repeatedly found alongside people with blatantly antisemitic views, but claims never to hear or read them.

Again and again, Jeremy Corbyn has sided with antisemites rather than Jews. At best, this derives from the far left’s obsessive hatred of Zionism, Zionists and Israel. At worst, it suggests a conspiratorial worldview in which mainstream Jewish communities are believed to be a hostile entity, a class enemy. When Jeremy Corbyn was elected leader of the Labour Party, Jews expressed sincere and profound fears as to how such politics would impact upon their wellbeing. Our concerns were never taken seriously. Three years on, the Party and British Jews are reaping the consequences.

Routine statements against antisemitism “and all forms of racism” get nowhere near dealing with the problem, because what distinguishes antisemitism from other forms of racism is the power that Jews are alleged to hold, and how they are charged with conspiring together against what is good. This is not only historic, or about what Jeremy Corbyn did before being Party leader. It is also utterly contemporary. There is literally not a single day in which Labour Party spaces, either online or in meetings, do not repeat the same fundamental antisemitic slanders against Jews. We are told that our concerns are faked, and done at the command of Israel and/or Zionism (whatever that means); that antisemitism is merely “criticism of Israel”; that we call any and all criticism of Israel “antisemitic”; that the Rothschilds run the world; that ISIS terrorism is a fake front for Israel; that Zionists are the new Nazis; and that Zionists collaborate with Nazis.

Rightly or wrongly, those who push this offensive material regard Jeremy Corbyn as their figurehead. They display an obsessive hatred of Israel alongside conspiracy theories and fake news. These repeated actions do serous harm to British Jews and to the British Labour Party.

Jeremy Corbyn is the only person with the standing to demand that all of this stops. Enough is enough.

Board of Deputies of British Jews, Jewish Leadership Council

How Martians react to our probes

Hi All,

' I have called this extraordinary meeting of the Bahar bowling club, [Mars 556/67/77, founded circa 77,000,000BC ] , because of the latest probe sent from earth.'.

The chairman of the bowling club- who also happened to be the head of the Martian CIA/ MI6/KGB equivalent raged' The curiosity rover was bad enough and went straight through Mrs Farquard's flower arrangements, but this? This is too much. A Telsa and a never ending repeat of David Bowie? !'

' That's right ' said someone from the crowd. ' couldn't they do something classical . Batoven or the meat lof? '

'Goodness!  It was much more agreeable when the dinosaur men were in control of Earth,at least we didn't have them probing us' said Mrs Dismember.

'Sad about that asteroid' quipped someone from the crowd.

'That was the Svinge. Didn't they piss off King Fak El Fak?'  Enquired some knowledgeable geek.

'Well quite'  said the bowls club chairman. 'Meat lof is a brilliant artist and if the humans has sent his music to us ...'

'What are we going to do  about it?' Asked another.

' I've read in the daily wail that this is a prelude to a human invasion - these guys want a colony here' muttered the village post mistress.

'And we even tried to get them to think this planet is uninhabitable , but they still want to colonize it'  said an exasperated publican.

'Well it's time to get tough. I've spoken to Her Imperial Majesty, and she's authorised a full invasion of Earth. Either these savages stop provoking us with probes, rovers, telseas and david bowie or we'll do it for them'

 There was a general chorus of agreement.

'But aren't we a bit overstretched? I get we've got the local militia , but I heard on the grapevine we're involved in 667,000,000  wars across 570 different dimensional realities'  said a heckler.

'Have no fear stout fellow'.  Our allies across the dimensions, of  the Saguaro  Federation, The   Zarafah Communion and the Kingdoms of Northumbria , Mercia , Wessex , Peebles and The Far Texas Republic have agreed to join us. Furthermore Her Imperial Majesty is currently birthing an entire  legion of fighters, battleships, carriers and soldiers for this very task'.

' So ladies and gentlemen let us end this meeting with the  first verse of the national anthem as we say no to Human Earther probing!!'


O Mars !
Terre de nos aïeux,
Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux.

Car ton bras sait porter l'épée,
Il sait porter la croix.

Ton histoire est une épopée,
Des plus brillants exploits.

Et ta valeur, de foi trempée,
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.

Rapprochement with Russia? The conservative case

Hi All,

Despite the current frosty relationship between Russia and Britain , I still think that there needs to be a rapprochement with Russia, from a conservative/ realist / Machiavellian/Disraeli perspective. 

First let us face facts 

Russia has been and probably always will be led by an authoritarian government. Whether it was the Tsars , the Soviets or Putin, you won't ever get Russia to become London/  Californian liberals.

Once we've accepted this we must understand some other Russian viewpoints:

1.  After the fall of communism, rather than entering a capitalist golden age, Russia was basically sold ("raped")  to the lowest bidder, whether via  foreign investment or more accurately by the "oligarchs".  This occurred while the average Joe Russian citizen became even poorer than under the Soviets . Liberty , in the western sense didn't happen either..

2. Russia became surrounded by NATO and feels "encircled"

3. Russia like Britain and France feel that they are among the world's great powers, even as America and China overshadow this claim.  They do want to be treated as such. In short they are a proud people who want to be listened to.

Of course there are some hiccups to get over in Ukraine and Syria , closer to home the recent assassination attempt. 

I think we have to accept that Ukraine (half of it!) and Syria are within the Russian sphere of influence.  In respect of Ukraine Putin must be told "this far and no further".  As a realist ,I'm sure he will get the message.

In respect of Syria. Let them have it.  The country is, even after military success,  nothing but wasteland  rubble, it's people all over the place .  It will take a decade to rebuild, even without outside interference. I doubt Russia or Iran  will pay for this rebuilding, so it will remain weak for decades .  The Turks and Iranians will shortly come to blows and Russia's convenient allianz with Iran is just that. Sooner or later Iran and Assad are going to clash. You can't reconcile an Arab secular nationalist government with Iran's particular  and non Arab religious fundamentalism.  

Turkey will try to take more territory. Thus exposing Russia to a potential conflict with a NATO country (even better no European power is going to come to the Sultan's land grab, whatever the paper of the Atlantic treaty  says, but even better if the odious Sultan gets dragged into a Vietnam type situation) .  

I've been watching "star trek". If Russia are the Klingon empire , then we need to  agree to a "neutral Zone " ( i.e. Lebanon/ Ukraine)  then this will keep Israel happy or at least give Israel a free hand to deal with Hezbollah without Russian backing.  Iran Israel can deal with. Russia would be more difficult, but then Israel and Russian do NOT have to be adversaries. The Israeli population has a significant percentage of Jews who are Russian speakers.  Russia was the first to recognise Israel. Israel thrashed the Arabs who had hi tech Russian war machine , with French planes ( zut alors!) and knackered out British and American tanks (proving strategic and tactical thinking outweigh military technology).

As for the UK  , post Brexit we need to look for friends and or business partners. If we cannot be friends then we can be business partners with Russia. I have no beef with the people of Russia and I don't think they do either. In respect of the assassinations, maybe the dissidents could go to the Caribbean or some other tax haven. Or maybe we could have a gentlemen's agreement . But I think we need to pick our battles carefully. There are greater threats than Russia to the UK :  Russia hasn't threatened to dissolve and dissect the UK. What allies(EU) *cough*. Northern Ireland *cough*. (EU). Have?

I found this on the internet and I have no quarrel with such people..the lion and the bear can have a rapprochement. Or we'll have to kiss their assets back to Siberia.   Let us pray it doesn't happen.

And in any case Britain has claim on Russia via Queen Victoria.  Prince Harry and Meghan as Tsar and Tsarian of Russia?  LOL!  That'd be cool.

Jacob [Israel] & sons

Hi All,

Jacob [Israel] & sons , well cool modern Midrash song :