Hi All,
' I have called this extraordinary meeting of the Bahar bowling club, [Mars 556/67/77, founded circa 77,000,000BC ] , because of the latest probe sent from earth.'.
The chairman of the bowling club- who also happened to be the head of the Martian CIA/ MI6/KGB equivalent raged' The curiosity rover was bad enough and went straight through Mrs Farquard's flower arrangements, but this? This is too much. A Telsa and a never ending repeat of David Bowie? !'
' That's right ' said someone from the crowd. ' couldn't they do something classical . Batoven or the meat lof? '
'Goodness! It was much more agreeable when the dinosaur men were in control of Earth,at least we didn't have them probing us' said Mrs Dismember.
'Sad about that asteroid' quipped someone from the crowd.
'That was the Svinge. Didn't they piss off King Fak El Fak?' Enquired some knowledgeable geek.
'Goodness! It was much more agreeable when the dinosaur men were in control of Earth,at least we didn't have them probing us' said Mrs Dismember.
'Sad about that asteroid' quipped someone from the crowd.
'That was the Svinge. Didn't they piss off King Fak El Fak?' Enquired some knowledgeable geek.
'Well quite' said the bowls club chairman. 'Meat lof is a brilliant artist and if the humans has sent his music to us ...'
'What are we going to do about it?' Asked another.
' I've read in the daily wail that this is a prelude to a human invasion - these guys want a colony here' muttered the village post mistress.
'And we even tried to get them to think this planet is uninhabitable , but they still want to colonize it' said an exasperated publican.
'Well it's time to get tough. I've spoken to Her Imperial Majesty, and she's authorised a full invasion of Earth. Either these savages stop provoking us with probes, rovers, telseas and david bowie or we'll do it for them'
There was a general chorus of agreement.
'But aren't we a bit overstretched? I get we've got the local militia , but I heard on the grapevine we're involved in 667,000,000 wars across 570 different dimensional realities' said a heckler.
'Have no fear stout fellow'. Our allies across the dimensions, of the Saguaro Federation, The Zarafah Communion and the Kingdoms of Northumbria , Mercia , Wessex , Peebles and The Far Texas Republic have agreed to join us. Furthermore Her Imperial Majesty is currently birthing an entire legion of fighters, battleships, carriers and soldiers for this very task'.
'Have no fear stout fellow'. Our allies across the dimensions, of the Saguaro Federation, The Zarafah Communion and the Kingdoms of Northumbria , Mercia , Wessex , Peebles and The Far Texas Republic have agreed to join us. Furthermore Her Imperial Majesty is currently birthing an entire legion of fighters, battleships, carriers and soldiers for this very task'.
' So ladies and gentlemen let us end this meeting with the first verse of the national anthem as we say no to Human Earther probing!!'
O Mars !
Terre de nos aïeux,
Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux.
Car ton bras sait porter l'épée,
Il sait porter la croix.
Ton histoire est une épopée,
Des plus brillants exploits.
Et ta valeur, de foi trempée,
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.
O Mars !
Terre de nos aïeux,
Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux.
Car ton bras sait porter l'épée,
Il sait porter la croix.
Ton histoire est une épopée,
Des plus brillants exploits.
Et ta valeur, de foi trempée,
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.
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