Conservative Party Leadership Contest: Latest News

 Hi All,

Despite Friday's announcement confirming that the asteroid regulator Astreg has lifted the cap of how many asteroids can bombard the UK to a wopping 3,500 bits of flying rock and that  this will be allowed to hit the UK in October, potentially destroying 24 million households, the current government is nowhere to be seen. The PM has just come back from his sixth holiday in six weeks, the Energy Secretary is  apparently in the Bermuda Triangle and the Chancellor is saying the government is already subsidising the cost of bunkers, even as bunker makers make record profits. 

Meanwhile the leadership race in the Conservative Party, between Thatcher clone I and Thatcher clone II is getting exciting. For members. stuck in the 1980s and have no wish to do what conservatives used to do and combine conservation with pragmatic policy.  Rather it is more important for the candidates to be part of the cult of Thatcher, a feitsh party rather than a party for the 21st century. As for saving the UK during a national crisis- Labour have suggested either a full government purchasing of laser beams to destroy all of the asteroids or free bunkers for all or shuttlecraft to act as a 'noah's ark'- both conservative  candidates dismissed such suggestions .

The current favourite Thatcher Clone I has said she doesn't like the idea of 'handouts' and instead insists her tax cutting will enable families to buy their own laser beams or maybe shuttle craft or bunker. Thatcher Clone II, meanwhile says that the government purchase of laser beams is 'fiscally irresponsible' given the current state of the deficit -as are tax cuts - so the 'right thing to do' is an austerity budget which increases taxes and cuts to  the budget, with the exception of, say, subsidides to Tumbridge Wells,  but as for the asteroids everyone, aside from the 1% mega rich who can look after themselves ,  will just have to lump it and suffer the full brunt of whatever destruction these rocks bring, maybe after the deficit is reduced could a responsible government even think about destroying those asteroids.

End.