Hi All,
I couldn't recall how long I'd been out, but it must have been some time. My bedroom had been tidied and the ensuite bathroom was spotless. I did my usual routine of the 3 's' (shit, shave, shower), brushed my teeth, got changed into some causal jeans an a polo neck shirt and headed downstairs, wondering if that mysterious woman 'my boss' was around. Before I did so I put on my e-ring on my right index finger, I felt a sudden swell of the internet web shroud my thought, but I put it into standby mode.
I could smell coffee! Not that cheap printed coffee, but real coffee that has to be made like they used to a century ago, nowadays real organic coffee beans are worth a year's salary. And there was something else , a distinct smell of cigar smoke, Havana's no less.
My boss used to drink real coffee and smoke cigars ! But then my boss had been a bloke and in his mid fifties. Even if he wasn't dead already, with his conservative opinions he'd never would have had a sex change. Besides which even today you can change your sex, but not your age.
I'd practically fallen down the stairs in my rush to get down to the kitchen, where the smells were coming from, and sure enough there she was sitting at my table: a tall, voluptuous, toned, olive skinned woman with raven hair tied up in a pony tail. Any hetrosexual man's dream. But my boss had been a grumpy old dinosaur, short, fat , five foot, little man complex who drank coffee, smoked Havana cigars and -
Brandy on the rocks , which Jeeves the holographic e-butler , dressed like a something out of that old tv show Downton Abbey, was busily pouring out of a decanter into two appropriate brandy glasses. One filled with ice and one not. The not one filled with ice was for me. I remembered this was how we- that is me and my boss- used to have either pep talks or bollockings. Brandy, Coffee and Tobacco.I wasn't sure which one this would be, afterall I had been found out on my - not so legal use of extra credit and had been given a new heart and liver.
'Hey Jeeves' I said. Jeeves blanked me, muttering to himself and disappeared, I couldn't recall if he was always like that. The woman, who had been reading a physical newspaper- another trait of my boss- gestured for me to sit down.
'So who the hell are you?'
'I've already told you'
'My boss was an old bloke - Ian Hudson Frontenac - head of our banks security division and I was his assistant, until he died in Columbia 4 months ago, after which I got the sack and '
'Fell on hard times it seems, but that's all in past now. You are reinstated as my assistant with full back pay, a rise and an extended credit line . You can check your e- accounts. There should be a new contact - £1,400 a year, plus a 300% bonus for reaching targets. There should also be £2,500 in there with a further credit line of £2,500 if you so wish to draw on it '.
I did and the contract was there . And there was a small fortune in my account . All my other debts had been paid off and I was up to date with my bills, the mortgage and other credit was now with my employer, with only 1% interest and minimum payment. My e-lawyer scanned the contract and said it was ok, so I e-signed it. A flood of relief came over me that I was now fiscally solvent, I gulped down the coffee and burned my throat in the process, until the e-doctor began to flood my body with god knows what drug to repair the damage. The contract also noted that my line manager was Helen Seville Frontenac de Castro, so she's the new boss and not the old one...
'So, I grinned, you are my new boss' .
'I'm your old and new boss, well okay will this jog a memory. She looked me in the eye and they glowed temporality.
'Yes Ian was like that , he was Albion Onconvar - a race of humans who blend with an alien species called Onconvar, who in their native form look like Crawfish, but each lifeform retains their own memories and have their own distinct personality, in effect two people sharing the same body. So you're also one of them'.
'Not exactly. Think. My name'. The voice had changed. Not Spanish , but some kind of deep baratone.
Frontenac
'Exactly. '.
'So the human host as it were died, but the Onconvar part of you survived?'
'Yes'.
'What happened? '
'It's a long story'
She gulped the rest of her coffee down and drank the brandy in a single shot.
Jeeves materialised and poured some more brandy. Taking a box out of her satchel, opening it and asked 'cigarette?'
'I'm listening' as I puffed away on my cigarette. The nicotine surging through me like some kind of hurricane as she puffed on he own cigar.
'It all began 6 months ago...'
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